Poetry

April is National Poetry Month and tomorrow is Poem in Your Pocket Day.  To celebrate, Otto will be bringing a copy of Shel Silverstein's poem Where the Sidewalk Ends to each of his school mates, and I am considering some serious poetry bombing on our campus.  Because, why not?  Poetry is awesome.

Check out this amazing woman, poetry bombing by sewing verses into thrift store clothing:





 And here, for you, is one of my favorite poems (although it is very difficult to choose just one):

 Morning Song 

by Sylvia Plath 

Love set you going like a fat gold watch. 

The midwife slapped your footsoles, and your bald cry 

Took its place among the elements. 

Our voices echo, magnifying your arrival. New statue. 

In a drafty museum, your nakedness 

 Shadows our safety. We stand round blankly as walls.

I'm no more your mother 

Than the cloud that distills a mirror to reflect its own slow 

Effacement at the wind's hand. 

All night your moth-breath 

Flickers among the flat pink roses. I wake to listen: 

 A far sea moves in my ear. 

One cry, and I stumble from bed, cow-heavy and floral 

In my Victorian nightgown. 

Your mouth opens clean as a cat's. The window square 

Whitens and swallows its dull stars. And now you try 

Your handful of notes; 

The clear vowels rise like balloons.

Rest Day

 Fridays are "rest days" so instead of prying myself out of bed and away from my snuggly boys at 5:30 this morning, I luxuriated under the comforter until almost 7.  I was doing that thing (you know, the thing?) where you go in and out of sleep, never fully committing to either one.  I felt my son breathing gently next to me, his warm little body cupped next to mind, little heart beating steadily, peaceful dreams moving across his face.  On the other side of him, my husband -this man who somehow lives with me, loves me, cooks dinner and does dishes and picks up dog poop, hugs his son, tells us both how much he loves us each day- rolling over in his sleep, sighing and stretching one strong arm over both of us.

Even in my twilight, between wakefullness and sleepfullness state, I filled my lungs with the quiet air of our bedroom and thought, "wow."

This is what a rest day is to me.  Rest for my body.  Rest for my soul. 

Happy Friday.

February Favorites: Winter Weeknight Meal

I love cooking.  And I love soup.  I love cooking soup!  And after a shitty, long-ass day at work, there is nothing better than straight up comfort chow.

BUT.  Its not always practical to cook some amazing, totally from scratch soup on a weeknight...we don't get home until around 5:30...we wouldn't be eating until 9 pm!  What follows is my version of sorta homemade chicken noodle soup that satisfies all the cravings with only about an hour of cooking...hello normal 6:30 dinner time!!  (And it tastes and smells WAY better than stuff out of a can.  Trust me.)

(Katie!  This is the soup we talked about this weekend.  !!  xoxo)




Sorta Homemade Chicken and Noodles

1 Rotisserie chicken from the grocery store.  (I've also used a rotisserie turkey breast-YUM- left over home roasted chicken also works, of course, if you are one of THOSE people.)
1-2 tbs. olive oil
1 Onion, diced
1 1/2 tsp. salt
2-3 carrots, chopped (I like bigger, rustic pieces of carrot but that's just me)
2-3 celery stalks, chopped  (Opposite on this- I like little, tender pieces of celery)
2 tsp. basil
black pepper to taste
lots of chicken broth (8 cups or so?  I usually use (2) 32 oz. boxes of store bought broth)
6 oz. or so of dry egg noodles


 First, rip that chicken apart!  Its good for getting out any end of day frustrations.  Collect bit sized chicken pieces in a bowl and set aside.  (Some days, to speed things up, I'll do this on the weekend or at lunch and just refrigerate the chicken until I need it.  Time saver!!)
Heat the olive oil up in a heavy bottomed soup pot, medium to medium-high heat.  Add the onion and salt to the pan and saute for 5 minutes or so.  Add the carrots, celery, basil and black pepper.  Put a lid on it, turn the heat down to low and cook for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.
Remove the lid, add the chicken broth and the chicken pieces.  Bring it up to a simmer and cook until the veggies are almost tender (10 min or so?).
Bring the soup up to a boil and add the noodles.  Cook until done. 

Devour with crusty french bread and salad.  Cozy up with a book or in front of a movie.  No judging.

Chase with something chocolaty.

Our little family of 3 usually gets dinner and lunch out of this recipe.  Score!

February Favorites: (Alcoholic) Beverages

I did a favorites post on my favorite non-boozy bevs, so its only right that I talk about the good stuff too, right?

I'm a beer/wine kinda girl, generally, rarely foraging into the (to me) mysterious world of hard liquor.  As far as beer goes, my absolute favorite would have to be Guinness, with a "black and tan" coming in a close second.  

NOMnomnomnomnomnomnomnom

If on a budget, however, I genuinely love Pabst Blue Ribbon.  Or as we call it, PEEber.   (Get it?  PBR...Peeber?)  I know, I know.  I think its more nostalgia than actual taste, since we drank gallons of the stuff during my punk rock days. 

Wine-wise, I prefer red over white regardless of what's on the menu (scandalous, I know!)  I especially love a good Malbec .  I go by what I like, not how much the bottle costs and as a result, some of my favorite wines are super affordable.  Which is good, as I enjoy a glass several times a week.  Ahem.

If pressed to drink something with more bite, I always order a whiskey (Pendleton if they've got it, but I also like Crown Royal as an old, familiar standby.) on the rocks with a splash of water.  I've learned from experience that fancy, sugary drinks spell NASTY hangovers, so I steer clear of the "girly" stuff.

If pressed to order a mixed drink, however, it would have to be a Moscow Mule.  But just one.  :)

As you can see, pretty simple, if not the most sophisticated tastes.   What am I missing out there??

February Favorites: Family

Yeah.  Duh.  I love my family.  But, truly they are my favorites (as I am forever reminding them) and I had to include them.  I mean, really.

The handsomeness!!!  (is that a word??)

This picture was taken yesterday, after a family trip to snowshoe/ski.  It was a crystal clear, sunshiny day...you know, one of those days where the snow looks all glittery?  No wind, not too cold.  Bliss.

February Favorites: (Non-alcoholic) Beverages

Ha!  I love me some beverages, people.  I drink water all day long and feel kinda naked without access to a water bottle at all times.  (A related favorite:  my favorite water bottle is a big, wide-mouthed Nalgene bottle with a little sip-guard thingy in the top to keep me from spilling it allover myself.)  Water helps me feel good, my skin glow and generally keeps my body running on all cylinders.   I carry water with me on any runs over an hour long and always glug several ounces after any workout.

Aside from H2O, my day usually involves some coffee with organic half n' half in the morning, a cup of tea at lunch (black or green depending on mood) and another cup of tea (herbal- chamomile is my fave) at bedtime.

Treat-wise, I've recently begun drinking Almond Milk.  Holy shit, people!  How did I not know about this before?!?  It is SO GOOD.  Otto loves it too and we've been known to argue over who gets the last bit in the carton. 

February: A Month of Favorites

You guys know how I like to make a list of favorite things to cheer myself up?  Let's do it all month!!  I'm a'gonna post a favorite thing as often as I can this month (every day would be ideal but...you know.)

Today:

My favorite book:  Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte.

I've read this book several times, seen numerous screen adaptations and I love it more and more.  Jane!  Mr. Rochester!  I love it that Jane has real problems i.e., dead parents, a super shitty guardian (Mrs. Reid), suffers abuse, the death of friends, etc. and comes through it intact with a strong sense of self.  She fucking rocks.

I saw the most recent film version of Jane Eyre and completely loved it.  Michael Fassbender and Mia Wasikowska were pitch perfect and I loved the emphasis on light, heat, and the consuming possibilities of both.  So good.   Oh! And Judi Dench as Mrs. Fairfax totally clenched it.

Things Fall Apart

I'd be lying if I said I'm not glad January is over.  Its been a tough month.  I can't really pinpoint the direct cause of the..."toughness", unless it would be the general malaise that seems to set in this time of year, and possibly the fact that we had nearly a month and a half between paychecks. 

The weather has been bizarrely mild; warmer than normal (in the 30's F), super windy, not much snow.  While the sunshine is nice, its like we're all walking around warily, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I find myself feeling cranky more often than not...having a short fuse (especially at work) and just generally being kind of a bee-yatch.  Yesterday, I let slip that I don't think my boss' boss is a good person.  Which, you know, is totally true but probably not something I should have said out loud...to anyone.  I skipped a work happy hour last week because the thought of seeing those people one more minute than required made my stomach flop over.

In happier news...

Otto's been attending swim lessons.  Its so great to see his confidence in the water growing with each lesson and his willingness to try new things like going under, floating, etc. when there are other kids his age doing it along with him. 

Also, he is cute.

 This is his last week of Level 1 lessons...I'm hopeful that he'll be ready for Level 2 when it starts in a couple of weeks because we're both enjoying our time at the rec center after work, twice a week.  He gets to swim and I get to sit in the warm, humid air and read.  WIN WIN.



We do have stuff to look forward to...my mom is coming to visit during her spring break in March.  Otto will get to hang with her instead of going to daycare and we'll save a week's worth of daycare payments, and..you know...get to hang with my awesome madre.  And, I've signed up for a half-marathon on April first so I should probably devise some sort of training plan other than the 4-6 miles, three times a week that I've been doing since the holidays.

Deep breaths.  I can do this.  I can make it until spring!! 

Can't I?

Doldrums

We've now officially entered the Doldrums of Winter.  No scheduled paid holiday until Memorial Day.  And as  Hello Giggles  says (have I mentioned that I LOVE Hello Giggles???) ,

" Our mornings, afternoons and evening all look the same. Slush covers our streets and invades our homes. Slush is not just what we walk through with our boots that will get stained-slush, is what we become. Slush is the worst. You can’t pack slush up into a snow ball and you can’t get school canceled either. Slush is good for nothing and America, we are too."

 Truer words were never written. 

We'll do our best in the coming months to keep our heads above all the slush...ski outings, dinner parties, swim lessons, counting the extra precious moments of sunlight that seep into each day,
...I even signed up for a half-marathon on April 1st, so that will at least motivate me to get out and train
but I know from experience that it will be hard.  Now until May is a trudge. 

I'm gonna do my best to come up with some new strategies for beating the doldrums...I'm thinking maybe some home reorganization projects, tackling swimming/biking with the end goal of someday competing in a triathlon, teaching Otto how to play Uno, lots of good books, maybe some new recipes...

Ideas??

Yule be sorry!

...and we're back!  One of the benefits of working where I work is that we get 11 days off for "Winter Closure" which effectively covers Christmas through New Year's.  What's more, its paid and we don't have to use any sick or vacation time.  A fabulous perk.

This year's winter break started off amazing.  We hopped in the car, laden with gifts and cookie tins and snowsuits, skis, etc. and headed to the Mister's hometown.  Once there, we ate, laughed, played, opened gifts, ate, laughed, ate...well you get the idea.  We got some cool stuff but the best present, really, was getting to play in glorious fresh snow with the grandparents and uncles. 

On the sleddin' hill.  It was cold, but fun...all kinds of fun!

Skiing through the trees near sunset.  So amazingly beautiful.

After a couple days of this debauchery, we headed home, only to find an unwelcome guest waiting for us:  the stomach flu.  Or whatever you call it...I guess its not technically a flu?  A bug?  Well, whatever it is, the Mister and I were completely miserable and yet Otto seems to have escaped relatively unscathed (knocking on wood.)  It trashed at least 3 precious day of our break, though, which sucked with a capital SUCK.

By New Year's we were mostly back to normal and enjoying eachother's company and our cozy house.  We played some games, put together some models, went ice skating, saw some movies and tried to make up for lost time.

The boys, reading a book before dinner on Otto's new "big boy bed"

All in all, our Yule coulda been worse, coulda been better.  And now, suddenly, here we are back into our routine of work, preschool, home and its both sad and comforting, if that makes any sense. 

I'm hoping to come back here soon with some ideas for the new year...who else still does resolutions?

Done and To Do

Done:

-Tree up, decorated.

-Elf watched.  At least twice.

Son of a nutcracker, how perfect is this tree???  Cut it down ourselves for $10 in the national forest. 

-Holiday cards mailed.  Can I get a whoop-whoop!!

-Gifts to far away friends and family mailed. (for a $55 post office bill...eek.  At least I was early enough to send them parcel post.)

-Gift for office gift exchange purchased and wrapped. ($10 limit not quite reached.)

-Toys and clothes contributed to our "adopted family" in need.

-Food contribution (veggies and hummus) to office holiday party purchased and prepped.

-Gifts for the mister and the kiddo purchased, wrapped and currently luxuriating under the tree.

-Gingerbread house attempted.

Not that bad for a first attempt, right?

To do:

-Come up with a white elephant gift for a friend's holiday party on Friday.  Having a tough time with this one.

-Bake goodies to take with us to the in-laws for xmas.  Usually a couple different kinds of cookies and some chex mix to accompany the long beer drinking/scrabble playing sessions.

-Tag and take teacher gifts to Otto's school.

-Attend the daycare holiday program next tuesday.  Its going to be so cute!  I can't wait!!!  He's been practicing his little songs at home and they are adorable.

-De-stress.  For real, I am exhibiting all my typical signs of stress:  poor sleep, volcanic break-outs and delightful moodiness.  I'm keeping up with my workouts and drinking green tea and eating leafy greens, fresh fruit, etc. etc. but sleep is the deficit at the moment.  I just can't seem to make it to bed before 10:30pm and the alarm goes off at 5:00am.  I'm just looking forward to Winter Break which is an AMAZING perk of my job- we get the week between xmas and new years off, with pay.  Imma gonna sleep in every day, son!!

-I'm sure there are to-do's I'm forgetting....

What's on your list?

Plan B

Hearing about this (see also: this) all day has my stomach in knots.  I agree with the author of the Slate piece that "The only reason to keep these restrictions in place is to force pregnancy on unwilling minors as punishment for having sex, and just accept the impregnated rape victims as collateral damage. "

Yes, that's exactly what Sebelius is doing...ensuring that this medication will not be available to girls under 17 years old unless their parent is super understanding and also an M.D.   It's bullshit on the highest level.

And this quote from Obama disheartens me:  "He said Sebelius decided 10- and 11-year-olds should not be able to buy the drug "alongside bubble gum or batteries" because it could have an adverse effect if not used properly. He said "most parents" probably feel the same way."

THIS IS TRUE OF JUST ABOUT EVERY SINGLE OVER THE COUNTER DRUG:  PAIN RELIEVERS, ALLERGY MEDICINE, SLEEP AIDS...If they are not used properly, they could ALL have adverse effects.

I'm sorry to yell but I'm just that pissed.

Denying victims of rape, abuse or just young people that make a fucking mistake (it happens- condoms break, people forget to take pills, etc.) a safe, easy way to prevent unwanted pregnancy is Wrong with a capital W. 



Just....Grrrrr.

Race to the Finish

Honestly?  Sometime it feels like December is an endurance event.  It can be hard for me to take a step back and just...chill.  There's so much that has to be done; shopping, events to attend, stuff to bake, travel to arrange, etc., etc.  Its overwhelming.

Over time, I've come up with a few strategies that help me relax and actually enjoy the season, because even though I'm not at all religious, this time of year is special to me: Its a celebration of life, family, friends, and a reminder that even in the dark and cold of winter, the earth is alive and spring will come again.  

What I'm doing to stay copacetic: 

-I'm getting my holiday shopping done early so I'm not worrying about what to get who.  As of right now, I only have Otto's teachers (giftcards, of course) and a friend left to shop for and I'll get those knocked out in the next couple days. Yay!  Love having all that accomplished.   (I truly enjoy shopping for the "perfect" gifts but I can't handle waiting until the last minute- too much pressure!!)

- Keeping my workout schedule.  My runs are my "me" time, the time I have to think and mull and otherwise just be inside my own head.  Even when I'm tired, or its cold, or whatever, I'm getting out for a run or in worst case scenario, I'm doing an exercise DVD in the basement.  I need to sweat to feel whole.  This morning, I ran in the dark while it was snowing.  It was great.

-Saying "No."  This is a hard one.  But I just can't attend every lunch, happy hour, office party, etc. that I get invited to.   My time with my family suffers if I try and honestly, there are precious few gatherings that I'm actually excited to go to.    Also, I can't afford to donate to every cause, every charity, every fundraiser.  I can't do like 4 different secret santa exchanges.  I can't bake cookies and make chex mix and pie crust and and and...Sorry but...NO.

-Prioritizing.  This goes along with saying no.  I'm continuously asking myself,"is this REALLY the most important thing?  Really??"  If the answer is No, then I rethink my current course of action.  I only want to do the important stuff.  I want to do the things I really care about.

What am I missing?  What are you doing make sure that you enjoy the season and don't stress?

Random shit and gratitude

First, some random shit:
-I have a sinus infection, again.  It seems like I get at least 2-3 per year.  What gives??  I'm a healthy person, take my vitamins, eat well, etc.  I did, however, break my neti pot about a year ago and haven't replaced it for which I was scolded today by my doctor.  So, new neti pot in one hand, antibiotics in the other, I'm out for blood.  You're going DOWN, sinus infections.  Assholes.

-My kid is a little man these days.  A FB post of mine from a couple days ago: 

"Otto growing up: 1. Since last week, he will only take showers, no baths. Insists on washing himself but grudgingly allows help with hair ONLY., 2. Got up this morning, made himself breakfast (toast with peanut butter and honey). "See, I can do it MYSELF." 3. Last night he told me "he loves me even when I tell him to do stuff." Har."

This is the truth!  What a little dude.

-We're doing something new for Thanksgiving this year...The Mister's aunt,(at whose house we usually stuff ourselves,) is going through a divorce so rather than invade her, we've rented 2 condos up in the mountains and are going for a ski/sled/snowshoe/eating adventure.  Yay!!  While I enjoy the traditional "everyone sit in the living room with unbuttoned pants" Thanksgiving, I'm not-so-secretly excited about this much more active one!  Also, I found new (to me) back-country skis at the gear swap (they were a steal!) and can't wait to try them out.  Double yay!!

Gear swap skis!  Also, our mail is here!

Thankfulness:
Its good practice to think about what you're thankful for every day, no?  I try to do that, I really do.  But this time of year gives you an excuse to bore others with your gratitude.  I'm especially thankful for:

-my health.  Chronic sinus infections notwithstanding, I'm in the best physical shape I've ever been in.  I love it that I can run, ski, snowshoe, hike...do whatever I want to do really and do it wholeheartedly.  Doing stuff is fun...who knew!? 

-my job.  Its not the greatest.  Its not my "dream."  But you know what?  It enables me to fulfill other dreams:  feed, clothe, and otherwise take care of my family, travel (limited, but still, the occasional road trip is possible), afford entry fees for races, etc.  I'm lucky to have a job and I know it.

-living in a beautiful place.  Sure the winters are rough and I'm pretty sure I have at least a mild form of S.A.D. so living at 7200 feet above sea level in the Rockies might not be the wisest but fuck-it, its gorgeous here.  

-of course, my little family.  We rock, if I do say so myself.

Also, we pose in front of rocks.  Winning.

HAPPY TURKEY DAY.  Be thankful.

My Beautiful Laundrette

Our washing machine broke last week.  I noticed that it was filling up with water, but  not agitating, draining but not spinning.  Google suggested a broken motor, which sounds expensive, doesn't it?  Ugh.

So rather than calling a repairman and facing that music, I took the path of least resistance...to the laundromat.  Which sounds like a drag, right?  Its cold outside, hauling baskets of laundry in and out and putting quarters in and waiting and...yuck, right?

No.  Surprise of surprises.  It was decidedly NOT a drag.   Quite the opposite, really.  I can confidently report that it was one of the most relaxing evenings I've had in weeks.  It was a Tuesday night.  It was me and a couple other quiet folks, gently washing, drying, folding.  It was warm and bright and smelled of fabric softener.  The TV was on in the background, the History Channel comfortingly droning on about buried treasure or something.  Clothes tumbled rhythmically in dryers.  No one was touching me, talking to me, needing me.   Between moving clothing from washers to dryers, I sat in a comfortable seat and drank tea and read a book.  It was practically on par with a spa day.

Also, I got what would normally take an entire day to wash done in 2 hours. Granted it cost about 12 bucks but that's cheaper than a movie or happy hour and honestly,  for that particular night it was infinitely more relaxing than either.  It was a beautiful night and since we haven't made any calls on the washer, it looks like I'll have to go back.

Damn.

Running it all out.

I seem to be finally be getting over that little bout of depression or whatever it was I've been going through the last few weeks. All I can say is...THANK GOODNESS.  I was a lean, mean, bitchy machine to just about everyone.  Everyone and everything was annoying me and I was pretty disinterested in things that would normally really get my juices flowing.  All I wanted to do was sleep.  Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), I've been down that road before and I recognized the feeling.  I did what I could to self medicate through exercise, good food and being gentle with myself.

In hindsight, I think the little black raincloud was a combination of post-marathon blues, the weather and just feeling overwhelmed by work/volunteer stuff/personal commitments and relationships/etc., etc. It was starting to scare me, though, so I'm glad that things seem to be on the upswing.

One thing that really helped pull me out of my funk was a half-marathon in Colorado that I ran on Saturday.  It was a clear, cold day and the course had a good view of snow-covered Rocky Mountains.  I wasn't worried about the distance...it was only a half!  I just ran all my stress, my sadness, my funkiness out- tried to leave it all on the course and I think it worked.  I PR'd-  1:58:58...my first half in under 2 hours!!  And it was cathartic.  Afterward, I felt like a new person, scrubbed clean on the inside. 

I'm just so glad I found running.  10 years ago I was on anti-depressants.  Today, the road is the only antidepressant I need.  I know that's not how it is for everyone, but I'm glad that's how it is for me.

Favorite Things: Cold-ass weather edition

From my last post, you may have gathered that the weather is making me a bit cranky.  Time for some favorite things to make me feel better!

1.  Apple cider.  While I usually go for tea or coffee, I've been on a cider kick lately and can't seem to go a day without at least one cup of the stuff.  I like it spiced, hot, and preferably imbibed under a quilt reading something dark and amazing like...

Source

2. ... The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman.  While Silas and Bod and the Owenses etc. are wonderful, my very favorite character is probably Liza Hempstock.  I always cry at the end.  If you haven't read it, I don't even know why I'm talking to you.

 3.  "Night-time walks."  Otto and I have been doing this thing lately where we bundle up after dinner and put our headlamps on and walk around the dark neighborhood.  We imagine that we see caves, bats, tunnels, and other spoooooky stuff just outside our lights' reach.  Instead of holing up inside, its like we're venturing out into the dark and cold and saying "we're not afraid of you!!!" 

4.  Smartwool socks.  I love any sort of wool socks, really, but these are soft cushiony tubes of "everything's-gonna-be-ok."  Folks that know me have learned that Smartwools are ALWAYS a good gift for me.  I love them and wear a pair nearly every day.

Source

5.  Downton Abbey.  What's not to love?  British accents, class-ism, sexism, stuff and nonsense, and Dame Maggie Smith!  Love.

6.  Soup, soup, soup.  Tomato, Chicken Noodle, Minestrone...I don't really care, just give me soup!!

Under the weather.

The kiddo on snowshoes last winter...we'll soon be digging those out of the closet.

First real big snow of the season today.  In years past, I remember loving the first snow; being all excited to pull out my cute snow boots and hats and scarves and hot chocolate and etc., etc.   But today, I woke up ambivalent, wanting to stay snuggled in bed with my cute husband and deeply sleeping little boy with my eyes closed pretending it was still late summer with gentle temps and dry running trails.

I did haul myself out of bed, however.  I worked out, (core work, ugh) showered, then stood in front of my closet looking at my sweaters with a sad resignation.   I didn't want to wear any of them...and I LOVE sweaters, usually.  LOVE them.  But today?  No.  I still want my skirts and tights and t-shirts with clogs and maybe a cardigan for chilly nights.  Not long pants and sweaters and snow boots and winter coats and scraping of ice off cars.   I settled on a light sweater, corduroy pants and, you guessed it, snow boots.  Sigh.

And then it took me 8 minutes to scrape off my car.

I just don't feel ready for winter this year.  It was such a great summer...packed with runs and picnics and vacations and backyard parties.  And the fall has been short, too short.  And now I'm scared we won't see the ground again until April.

I love this town for a lot of reasons but today I'm daydreaming of warmer climes.

Give me an excuse.

Source:  Wikipedia

Statement:  This time of year is made for reading Victorian Gothic fiction.  Frankenstein,  Dracula, Jane Eyre, The Picture of Dorian Gray.  These books just fit the shorter, colder days, the haunting clickety clack of leaves tripping down the sidewalk, wind that howls through the crack under the door while we're warm inside eating soup, bare branches providing a start contrast against a cloudless, moonlit sky. 

At this time of year, I tend to revisit one or more of these old favorites and delight in their deliciously creepy prose and not-really-all-that-antiquated warnings of the corruption of technology and scientific innovation.  I especially love the intensity of the emotions the characters in these novels tend to have...all-consuming passions and fears, loves and hates.  My husband would scoff and call it "emo" but I love it.  I love the complete and utter despair suffered by Frankenstein when his creature is lost to him.  I love how intensely Jane feels for Mr. Rochester, how delightfully hateful Dracula truly is.  Just love it!

And not all the great stuff from this era came out of Great Britain...there are amazing short stories from Nathaniel Hawthorne that will enchant you (for realz!), specifically Rappaccini's Daughter.  (Seriously, read it.)  And of course, Washington Irving's Legend of Sleepy Hollow...CLASSIC.

What this all points to is me wanting some serious quality time with a book, my couch, and a cup of tea.  Can one call into work with a serious case of Need to Read?

Get back to me on that, will you?

Because 26.3 would be crazy.

I'm alive!  I did it!  And what's better, I did it in under my goal time*.  Squee!!

The whole experience started on Saturday, the day before the race.  We woke up to snow, icy roads, and general weather shittiness.  Thankfully the snow turned to rain around the state line, and my two running friends and I eventually made it to Denver and to the expo to pick up our packets.

At the convention center, we stood in one line to pick up packets, in another line to pick up our t-shirts, and yet another to get our swag bags.   And then we were turned loose into the madness...There were SO MANY people!  And free stuff!  and...people!  It was a nuthouse.  We got free energy bars, drinks, pictures taken, and I even met Dimity McDowell and Sarah Bowen Shea, authors of Run Like a Mother and the website another mother runner.  (Dimity is so tall! Wow!)  We saw crazy compression suits, minimalist shoes, tried gross electrolyte drinks, and laughed at weird outfits.  It was fun.  I'm kicking myself that I didn't actually take any expo pictures.  I was too distracted!

After the expo, we checked into the hotel and walked out to grab some dinner.  The hotel recommended a nice Italian restaurant that was nearby but they couldn't seat us for another 2 hours.  We made do with a brewery around the corner.  It was weird eating at a brewery but not ordering beer.  A couple hours and some nervous giggling later, we were in bed and counting down the hours until the start.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

5am.  Woke up, ate, freshened and then bundled up...the temp was in the 30's but expected to warm to the mid-50's.  Hard to dress for.  I threw some long pants and a sweatshirt (to be checked at the last minute) over my shirt and shorts, and cut up some little girl knee socks to make disposable arm warmers and mittens. 

The long pants and sweatshirt got checked right before the start.

The start line was a PARTY.  At 6:30 in the morning!  Music! Lights! People!  SO MANY PEOPLE.  (You can tell I come from a relatively unpopulated place, huh?)  Fortunately, they did a lot of things right, including tons of porta-potties and clear signs directing us to our starting corrals.  I was in corral 7 (determined by your estimated running time) so I said bye to my buddies and slowly jostled my way through the crowds to a spot near my pacing team.

Yes!  I signed up for a pace team on a whim at the expo and I'm so glad I did!  I latched onto the cute redheaded guy holding the 4:20 sign (and yes, people yelled stuff at him about getting stoned pretty much along the whole course.  He responded with good humor.)  After the gun went off for our corral (they staggered the starts, letting each corral go for a couple minutes before starting the next one) I made sure to keep him in sight and that really helped me to reign myself in and not rabbit out of the gate.

I had to stop and pee (naturally...sigh.) around the 5K mark, so I lost sight of the pacers for a while.  About a mile later, I caught up, passed them, and then settled into my own groove.  Around mile 6, things were warming up and I tossed my "mittens" aka the feet from the little girl socks.

The capitol and race crazyness.

The course was gorgeous, weaving through downtown Denver, into parks, pretty neighborhoods.  There were live bands and spectators holding signs all along the course.   The temperature rose into the mid 50's and the sun shone brightly.  The aid stations were well run and the folks holding traffic did a great job.  All we, as runners had to do was keep running!

I used the aid stations but also carried a few things with me:  I had my little handheld water bottle, a couple gels (I like Hammer gels) and some sport beans.  One gel went down at mile 6, and then I ate the sport beans at the half marathon mark.  After that, once I got into the higher mileage, I couldn't talk myself into eating that second gel, so I started drinking the energy drink offered at the aid stations in addition to some water.

Around mile 20, my right leg started to hurt and cramp up..my hip hurt, my thigh, my butt...the whole thing.  I felt myself slowing down.  The pace team was catching up to me.  This was a moment when I had to do some serious self talk and just hunker down and get through it.  I remember repeating to myself "you're fine, you can do this, you're fine, you can do this" over and over.  I didn't want to stop because I knew it would be really hard to start again.  I took energy drink whenever they offered it and dug deep.

Soon, I passed the 21 mile marker, the 22, 23, 24...25.  I knew we were close.  I shut everything out and just concentrated on moving my feet and how good the finish was going to feel.  Right before the end there was maybe the steepest hill in the entire race.  Mean!  It was hard.  But I was going to be damned if I started walking at that part!  I just ran 25 miles!  I can run up a stupid hill!

When I saw the finish line and all the people and the music...it was an awesome moment.  Under my breath, I told myself "You just ran a marathon."  Holy Shit!!

Concentration!

Headed towards the finish!

The mister and the kiddo were snowed in and couldn't make it down but my friends were there, yelling my name.  When I crossed the finish line, they gave me my medal, a shiny blanket thingy, a bottle of water and took my picture.  I grabbed a bagel from a box and shakily made my way out of the finishers area and to the predetermined meeting place to wait for my friends. 

I spread the shiny blanket thingy on the ground and sat in the sun, breathing, drinking water and just taking everything in.  At that moment, I felt so damn proud.  Proud of the months of training.  The lost toenails, getting up at the buttcrack of dawn, weekend mornings spent away from my family, exhaustion...at this moment it was all worth it.**



* Official finishing time 4:17:40...way under my goal of 4:30:00.  !!!
**When I got up to walk the mile back to the hotel, however, it was another story.  Ouch!