Weekend Update

Last weekend, we took advantage of a friend's timeshare and went with 4 others to Solvista Resort for a whirlwind couple of days.  It was amazingly fun EXCEPT for my Sunday morning 8 miler taken after a night of beer, lasagne, more beer, and very little sleep.   Beer/heavy food/tiredness + high altitude distance running = PAIN.  Lesson learned.  The hard way.

Other than that, we checked out a free music festival, went swimming, took advantage of the hot tub in the condo, hung out on the deck and enjoyed each other's company.  

Some besties and I checked out a  hippie music festival in Winter Park-beer! sun! hairy armpits!

The only black mark on the trip was a dead body on the side of the road between Winter Park and Granby- There was a cop car with blinking lights, a motorcycle on its side and a body with a sheet over it.  Couldn't help but think about all the lives that were just drastically altered in a split second...  Scary.  And we were seeing motorcycles zip up and down that stretch all weekend, weaving in and out of the traffic at high speeds...Those things scare me anyway, even without a such a somber reminder.  Wear helmets, folks.

Playing hard.

My Monday morning Facebook posts have had a similar theme so far this summer...something along the lines of "I need a weekend to recover from my weekend."  This weekend was no different and while it was fun as all get out, I'm now gritty eyed and pretty sure I still smell faintly of charcoal smoke and bug spray.

On Saturday, I did something completely reckless in that I attempted an 11-mile trail run up at Happy Jack BY MYSELF.  Every other time I've done a long run up there, its been with a girlfriend and those who know me know that I don't have the best sense of direction and find it nearly impossible to keep the image of a map in my head.  (What is this?  Lack of spatial memory?)  But the night before my run, the Husband and I sat down with a printed out map of the trails and a magic marker and carefully mapped out a route.

I was slower than I would have been on the road, having to stop at junctions and make sure I was turning 20 yards PAST the huge rock that looks like a foot etc. but I totally rocked that shit and made it back to the parking lot just in time to meet the Husband to do kiddo-swap so he could get his mountain biking miles in.

Otto brought his biking stuff and for my cool down I walked beside him as he mountain biked on his Strider on a short trail.  He did a muddy water crossing all by himself!  It was a day of firsts.

Here I am, post run, so very proud of myself for not getting lost:

Basking in my own glory: I'll check for ticks later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Word.

 That night, after we'd showered and packed our car completely full of gear to spend JUST ONE NIGHT ON THE GROUND (!?) we headed back up for some good old fashioned car camping.

All the campgrounds were full though, so we ended up kicking it old school in the middle of nowhere.  (Read:  no toilets.)  It was fun, even if the spot we found was full of broken glass and shotgun shells.   Oh, and I found half a dead elk when I was peeing behind a rock.  This IS Wyoming.

It'll do.

Waiting on dinner.  Which took forever.

Nice butte.

Gorgeous views.

The Kiddo and the dog slept awesome and the Husband and I laid awake trying not to breathe too loud or move too much and dreaming of the day we can afford one of these to eliminate the need for a tent.

The next day, we rocked out some bacon, eggs, bagels and cowboy coffee on the ol' Coleman stove before heading back into town.

All in all, it was an amazing weekend and pretty typical of summer weekends for us.  But holy shit, I'm tired.

Ah been fixin' to...

As they would say in Texas, where I just spent the last five (hot, humid) days, I've been fixin' to update this here blog but ...sidetracked?  Let's just say that some semblance of Summer has FINALLY crept into our lives and suddenly there is so. much. to. do.

-At work, I got a new office.  Yay!  It's the first one I've ever had all to myself and I'm really enjoying the privacy.   (And the rockin' view of the parking lot.)  I don't have much up on the walls but I'm kind of enjoying the non-cluttered feel of it. 

I need some bobble-heads a'la The Office, no?

-Over Memorial Day weekend,  the Husband and I got a much needed weekend away thanks to his kind parents who stayed with the Kiddo.  We ran, biked, ate sushi and mexican (not at the same time) and drank WAY TOO MUCH tequila.  We got a nice hotel and just really enjoyed eachother's company if you know what I mean wink wink.  It was the first time we'd both been away from Otto overnight but everything went without a hitch.  It's all to easy to become disconnected from each other during the day-to-day grind and we needed some time to remember WHY we're in this crazy boat together.  Yes?

-And as I mentioned, Otto and I just got back from Cemetery Day in Texas.  The flight out was infinitely better than 2 years ago which was the last time we went.  There was food, visiting, lizards in coffee cans (see below), cousins in kiddie pools and general merriment.  It was HOT, though.  I busted out a 10K race on Saturday morning and it was 82 degrees when the gun went off at 7am.  Ouch.  (Got 3rd in my age group though- 52:35!!  Another medal for the rack!)

It's a REAL LIZARD, Mom!

And now, we're back, facing mounds of laundry and full in-boxes.  Fortunately, we've got another week off scheduled for around July 4th.  Summer, I love you!!

Chucky Jesus

On weekend mornings, its become habit for us to allow the kiddo to watch an hour or so of PBS.  Mostly so that we can sleep in.  An hour of Sesame Street or Mr. Rogers is less harmful than a cranky, under-rested parent for an entire Saturday.  Or so we tell ourselves.

Anyway, even though PBS doesn't air commercials, all the shows have sponsors that have announcements and Otto pays as much attention to these as he does the actual shows.  Consequently, for weeks and weeks now, he has been singing the praises of Chucky Cheese's - When pressed to explain what, exactly, Chucky Cheese's is, all we got was "Its where a kid can be a kid, Mom!!"  So otherwise, he had no idea WTF the place is.  All he knew was that its COOL.  This was simultaneously adorable and completely annoying. 

On Saturday, due to some kid swapping as a result of run/biking schedules, after a 10 mile trail run, I ended up alone with Otto in the big city for a bit.  We went thrift shopping and then I nonchalantly suggested we get some lunch.  Against every instinct in my body, I made a decision based solely on the desire to gobsmack my child- and it worked.  As we pulled into the parking lot and he saw that huge weird cartoon mouse staring down from the sign, the sheer joy and surprise on his face was priceless and totally worth the 2 hours of beeping and booping and robotronic animal singing and screaming children I was about to live through.

"HOLY GUACAMOLE!!!!" he said from the back seat. 

What followed can only be described as an orgy of shitty pizza (he ate 3 slices and honestly, after my run I was so hungry, it even tasted good to me), video games, and excited exclamations of 3 year old ecstasy.  The place was way cleaner and better run than I had expected and honestly, although we won't be going back any time soon, it was super fun just to watch my kid be that. fucking. happy.

At the altar of cheesy, noisy, crazy 3 year old joy

That said, its gonna be a loooooong time before we go back.  One can only handle so many surprise cheesy, noisy pilgrimages in a lifetime.  Heh.

My mama said there'd be days like this

Saturday was just ill-fated from the beginning**.  After a kind of shitty night's sleep, I really wanted to run.  So after a bowl of oatmeal and some snuggle time with the kid, Ruby and I headed a ways out of town.  I wanted to run this road that goes past the old cement factory and turns into a wildlife refuge.  Supposedly great views of our surrounding mountain ranges and all that.  Unfortunately, while in town it had seemed relatively calm, if cold, out on the high plains there were hurricane force winds whipping snow and tumleweeds around willy-nilly. 

But, being the stubborn idiot I can be sometimes, we set out anyway.  It was awful.  A facebook friend commented that my particular locale is known for its "free microdermabrasions" and holy shit she's not kidding.  3 miles and 30 horrible minutes later, I had grit in my eyes, nose, and mouth and was half wondering if there was any skin left on my face.

We finally made it back to town, and I decided to drive through for a pumpkin pie latte as a consolation prize.  As we pulled into the coffee hut, Ruby puked all over the passenger seat of my husband's car.  Sigh.  I thought puppies grew out of car sickness...?

Finally, we made it home and as I pulled into the driveway, I saw the husband and the kiddo standing on the stoop.

The kid's face looked like this:

He'd lept off the coffee table and directly into a wooden cabinet.  This picture was the day of.  You should see it now- he looks like a prize fighter with lots of purple and blue around that pretty eye.


Thank goodness this is a 2-day week for me with a 5-day holiday weekend because fuck.




**There was ONE fun thing on Saturday- I caught a showing of that one big movie about the boy wizard that night with friends.  Loved it.  RIP Dobby the Elf!!

Making Hay

On what could very well be the last pretty weekend of fall before the snow hits (its forecast for this week), a friend and I took our dogs on an epic trail run on Saturday.  We set out to do maybe 7 or 8 miles up at Happy Jack...and ended up doing somewhere between 10 and 11 (my NikeSportBand, which I think tends to be high, said 11 and her GPS phone said 10.6...).

Here I am at mile 8 or so, stopping to enjoy the view.  I definitely look like I've been running for a while.  Heh.

It was beautiful day.  Brisk enough that I never felt overheated but warm enough to run in a tank and capris.  The dogs had a great time, too:

We couldn't believe that 8 miles in, they still had the energy for these kind of shenanigans.  Although later that night, Ruby was dead. to. the. world. and I physically had to pry her off the couch and make her go outside to pee before bed.

To tell the truth, I was pretty tired myself.  But in a good, feeling like a total badass kind of way.  :)


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AND!!  Omg!  I just saw that the freaking Coen brothers are remaking one of my favorite movies  from when I was young.  My husband it excited because this one doesn't have John Wayne in it.  (He HATES John Wayne.  I sort of totally love him.  Opposites attract, I guess.)

So. Excited.  Take a look:

Fleeting

On Friday, my boy turns 3.

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Its well known in these parts, that when fall hits, there is ONE, maybe two weekends to see the aspens.  The nights turn colder and suddenly their leaves catch fire and shimmer in the wind like a million shiny gold coins and then POOF.  They're gone. 

This weekend was THE weekend and we went up on Saturday to marvel at the fleeting brilliance.  One bright moment in time that can't truly be captured or saved.  All you can really do is be present and immerse yourself in the beauty of now...because tomorrow may be it's own version of beautiful  but it will never be This again.

Working for the Weekend

1. Yesterday, at work, a colleague came in and asked me what the Kid would like to drink at a company picnic since she was in charge of bringing non-alcoholic drinks.  I said something like "Oh, I'll probably just bring a water bottle for him," and then this somehow segued into a tirade against HFCS and how sodas/koolaids/etc. are evil.  Sorry, co-worker.  Didn't mean to spew verbal diarrhea at you.   Obviously, I'm passionate about that subject but really- there's a time and a place and this wasn't it.  I feel bad.

2. Speaking of co-workers, I've been SO ANNOYED all week that its been hard to concentrate.  I don't want to elaborate much here but OH MY GOD.  So hard for me to just focus on my work and not develop a nervous twitch due to coughing/loud crunching/endless chit-chatting/etc.  I need a weekend.

3. In a more hopeful and less whiny vein, I might have mentioned that I interviewed for a job this week that would be a small step up income-wise, but a big step up job-satisfaction-wise.   Oh, and after some planned remodeling, this position would also get its own office.  See #2 on why this would be awesome.  I hope they let us know sooner rather than later.

And now, a little gratuitous kidpic:

The kid loves books.

Happy Friday!

And Possibly Beer.

Ha Ha!  Its Friday and I've only had to work 2 and a half days this week.  Can I get a WHOOP WHOOP?

Short work weeks are awesome.

Tonight, we're biking down to the farmer's market for some peaches and cherries and whatever else catches our eyes.  There's a dude there who sells hot tamales and I'll be lobbying hard for a few of those (pork!) plus some fresh fruit to make up an easy dinner.

(Note:  I kind of hate you all who have daily or even weekly farmers markets year round.  You know who you are.  Here, our market is once a week for 4 hours from July-September and honestly there's not a ton of stuff to choose from...whatever farmers in northern Colorado can grow.  The upside to this is that Farmer's Market Day is an Event at which they block off two city blocks downtown and pretty much the entire town shows up to mill around in the sunshine.)

Sunday, then, is the Husband's birthday.  He still hasn't decided what he wants to do.  I have no plans for a cake or anything because I've asked him repeatedly what he would like and he hems and haws and rolls his eyes and basically ignores me.  So!  We very well may be putting candles into scrambled eggs or something. 

As for me, I'm feeling raw and ragged from coming off our vacation and jumping straight back into work.  I just need some catch-up time at home...laundry, cleaning, reading my book, and maybe a long run and some yoga to center myself again.  And possibly beer. 

Oh, and I suppose I'll hang with my son.  That kid is alright.

Old Glory

Just dragged ourselves back into town after 4 days spent in the absolute WAR ZONE that is Lander, Wyoming on July 4th. Fireworks are encouraged. Open container laws are lifted. In short, it is a huge, drunken free-for-all involving fire and explosions. What's not to like?

Even though our "real" purpose was to be at the party for mom-in-law's 60th birthday  (which was fun), we managed to squeeze in the parade and the husband and I even got out for a bluegrass show and a lawn party during which drunken 20-somethings were shooting off roman candles...at eachother.  The mother in me kinda wanted to call their parents.  But instead, I just grabbed another beer and got the hell out of their way.

Also, my dad was in town to run the half-marathon that takes place every year.  He lives in Missouri, so the altitude bothered him a bit.  But as you can see, he finished way strong.  He is my hero and he is awesome.  Maybe next year I'll be there with him...

And really, how cute is that little downtown?  This is the town in which I spent my last years of high school and where I met my husband.  So its always fun to go back and see how it hasn't changed at all.  Well, at least not in the ways that matter.

And now, I'm sitting here trying to get my head around an overflowing inbox. 

Viva la USA!!! And Viva la Vacation!!

Weekend Redux

We were SO overdue for a weekend like this:  sunny, warm(ish), 3 WHOLE DAYS LONG...sigh.  It was awesome.  We hiked, we biked, we grilled, we socialized, we cleaned...I even went to the movies.

On Saturday, we hiked  and it was probably Ruby's best day in her entire 10 month life.  We let her off the leash and you could tell at first she didn't really believe it.  She stayed very close and kept looking at her leash in my hand, like "This has to be a trick, right?  Well I'm not falling for it!"  After a while, though, she got more comfortable and by the end of the 3 miles, we were whistling for her every few minutes to come back in sight.

At the end of the trail, there's a little creek with a waterfall and we all stopped there for a snack and Otto and I even stuck our bare feet in the icy mountain water.  Bracing.  Ruby went nuts, especially when another family with another doodle joined us.  It was the dog version of Clash of the Titans as the two dorks played and wrestled in the creek and then up on the dusty hillside.

We were so glad Ruby's been recently shaved because the other doodle?  Who still had all its crazy hair?  A huge mess.  HUGE.  Once Ruby was dry, I was able to brush her out to where she looked pretty much clean.  
Right after the Epic Doodle Battle:

Other than that, we got a lot of chores done (washed both cars, and all our bikes, cleaned, did some planting), grilled some delicious food , (I know that recipe says to broil the chicken, but it was SO GOOD grilled.) and just generally enjoyed eachother's company.

As always, though, I didn't have enough time to do EVERYTHING I was hoping to get done (so sorry, picnic table that still needs to be sanded and sealed) but we did a pretty good job cramming a shit-ton of activities into three days.

ETA:  Oh! Oh!  I forgot the Breaking News from this weekend...my son now poops in the potty!!!  You're welcome.

Progress, Not Perfection

Accomplished this weekend:

1. Progress on potty learning: Boy is consistently wearing undies/peeing in the potty. He asks for a diaper to go no.2, which is totally fine with me. Just that he's A, realizing that he needs to go and B, making arrangements to do it comfortably is awesome. If you think about it, potty learning is a HUGE new skill for a child who has been diapered. Not only is he learning to pay attention to his body's cues for the first time, his brain now has to learn to be two places at once: on the task at hand (playing, drawing, walking, whatever) but also paying attention to his bladder/bowels. Kind a huge step.

2. Kitchen was taken apart, cleaned, sanded, painted, and then put back together again. It was a big project but finished in less than a day, thanks to the...

3. In-Laws. Who stayed with us all weekend. They were so sweet to drive here and help us paint and buy us dinner and take the boy/dog for walks and etc. etc. I am so petty that I always end up being annoyed by little things when they are here (treating bathtime like a spectator sport, eating noisily, asking mildly invasive questions), but I'm also able to see the big picture: we have folks who adore us, support us, and just generally help us out with anything.

4. Sleep. Yeah, not so much.

On Bettering Myself and My Surroundings- An Itemized List

     Item #1:  I ran 5K in less than 30 minutes today!  A personal best, if you don't count when I was running cross-country in high school.  Because let's face it- anything pre-baby doesn't really count, especially when I was 16.   I felt really good the whole time, and was able to keep my pace up without feeling like things were getting to crazy.  And I just realized that the 'under 30 minutes' time includes a short break so the dog could take a shit.  Go me!

     Item #2:  I met with an adviser for a master's degree program today.  We talked, specifically, about me applying for said program.  This is scary and cool and weird and exciting all at once.  She was super chill, gave me a tour of the whole department and was generally supportive and encouraging.  I don't know for sure if I'll apply but its something I've been thinking about for a long time and its nice to have a more 3-D image in my brain of how it would be.  In the (ok, somewhat unlikely) event that I did apply and then did get accepted, I wouldn't begin attendance until a year from now, so there is plenty of time to soul-search and hash out the pros (furthering my career, feeding my need to LEARN, a better life for us as a family) and cons (no money, would have to keep full-time job plus go to school, would take a long time, I would be SO BUSY).  But dudes.  School. 

     Item #3:  The in-laws are in town this weekend to help us paint our kitchen.  When we moved into our rental 5 years ago, it had NOT been recently painted and we had the idea that a little fresh paint and sprucing up might take the sting out of not being able to buy a house for a few more years.  And so, after agonizing over paint colors (with our landlady's blessing, of course), we're ready to begin the first room.  We're going with a nice sage-y green color in the kitchen- "like a sushi restaurant" was the husband's request.  While we're at it, I'll either sew or purchase some new cafe curtains and Oila!  A little face-lift on the room in which we probably spend the most time.

     Once the kitchen's done, I plan to move on to the upstairs (main) bathroom (which is currently this weird pink-white color- gross.) and then the basement.  Its fun to have a summer project.  I'm looking forward to a weekend spent wearing old clothes, working with people I love, ordering take out and just generally not thinking about much other than the task at hand.

     Item #4:  Otto and I started some seeds indoors a while back and it looks like we might finally be able to begin thinking about getting them in the actual ground.  We have sunflowers, daisies, cherry tomatoes, peppers, and lettuce.  I also started some herbs in my kitchen window that are coming a long nicely.  Bring on the mojitos!

The Weird and the Wonderful

I feel like this weekend was all over the place, weather-wise and activity-wise.

It snowed all day Friday and we woke up to a shit-ton of white in our yard on Saturday. Lemons into lemonade kind of people that we are (heh), we piled snow into a huge mound in the front yard and then let Otto sled down it so many times I kind of wondered if he might get motion sick.

That afternoon, I had a baby shower to attend...and no offense to pregnant people or shower throwers, but I usually HATE those things with a burning, fiery passion. The little games, the forced conversations...blah. This one pleasantly surprised me, though. Instead of gifts, they had everyone pitch in for a new freezer for the family (this is their 2nd child) and then they had the shower in a church kitchen and had everyone help cook meals to fill the freezer up with. Genius, really! And it was so much easier to make small talk with strangers when we had a common goal and activity other than 'guess what candy bar is melted in the diaper'.

And then Sunday, low and behold, it was magically springtime. Warm and sunny, with snow hurriedly melting into gutters and potholes. Our sledding hill of the day before transformed into a weaksauce little bump in the yard.

After chores were done and kiddo and puppy were played with/walked, and the glorious sunshine had been soaked up, I found I needed some time to myself. So I went to see Alice in Wonderland. I am a huge Tim Burton fan and I wasn't disappointed: All the weird wonderfulness was there. There was one moment where the spell broke breifly for me, but other than that, it was 2 hours of lovely.


And finally, if you missed Zach Galifianakis hosting SNL this weekend, let me help you out:



Aaaaaand now its Monday again. Huzzah?

Its a Bummer

We took a couple days off this past weekend to spend some time with the in-laws in the wilds of central Wyoming, otherwise known as the small town my husband grew up in and in which I lived for a very short time. (Long enough to meet him, anyhow. )

It was relaxing and badly needed- a long, quiet car trip though beautiful frozen vistas of partially snow covered sagebrush, deep ravines and craggy rock paired with an icy, crystal blue sky... a couple days of sledding, food, and reading (yay Kindle!) and then a day at home to catch up on shopping, laundry and rest. And some more reading. Heh. I should make a note to always take a President's Day/Valentines Day break because it restored some sanity I wasn't even aware was missing.

After 4 days off the grid, however, its good to be back, catching up on blogs, twitter, news...I love reconnecting with my internet buddies. And the best part? Its Wednesday already! :-)

* * * * * * * *

In other news this awards season, I am apparently up for the Worst Mother Ever award (yet again). The little guy has had a nasty red bum for the past week and a half or so. We tried everything that usually works on diaper rash: blow drying/air drying, keeping it super clean, good cream, even cutting out acidic foods for a couple days...NOTHING worked. If anything it kept getting steadily worse.

Finally, yesterday, I broke down and took him into the pediatrician. $80 later and we have a diagnosis of Strep. In his butt. The Dr. said its super painful and not very common although he does see it a couple times a month (that's not common?) where the strep bug bypasses the tonsils and settles in the, uh, other end.

Of course, I felt horrible that I hadn't immediately noticed that something was really wrong but he reassured me that we did everything right and yada yada yada...Still, mom-guilt has set in and Little O can pretty much get away with murder at the moment because I feel so bad about abusing his poor, sore behind with creams and blowdryers all week.

Live and learn, I s'pose.

Like getting involved in a land war in Asia

Getting a puppy while you have a two-year old might be right up there with the other classic blunders but nothing prepared us for this weekend. Not by a long shot.

On Sunday afternoon, we were all at the park having a wonderful time. It was a beautiful fall day- bright, crisp sunshine, green grass, a cute puppy rolling around in the crunchy leaves and an even cuter little boy enjoying the playground. He climbed, he swung, and we must have watched him go down that slide 25 times over the course of the hour we were there.

The last time however (you knew this 'however' was coming, didn't you?), his foot caught just before the bottom and he tumbled off the end of the slide, landing with his arm hyper-extended behind him. At first I thought he was just crying because it was scary. Then I thought he was crying because he twisted it or something. But when snuggling, breastfeeding and even (yes I went there) a piece of halloween candy had no effect and we realized that he was refusing to use the arm and screamed whenever it was moved, I knew something was really wrong.

Thirty minutes after the fall, we were at the ER and three hours after that, it was official. My baby had broken his arm just above the elbow. Its not a clean break, rather what the ER doc referred to as a "green stick" break. Whatever it is you could tell it hurt like hell and it broke my heart to see my little boy stoically holding his tears back as they took x-rays, poked and prodded and then finally splinted up his hurt little arm.

I kept him home the last two days and we had lots of Popsicles and Pixar movies which did nothing to ease my parental guilt at allowing something like that to happen. I know its not the end of the world and there are MANY MUCH WORSE injuries but I've never had a broken bone in my life (knock on wood) and here is my little guy already with a busted arm under his belt.

Gah.

So, we've been dealing with a crazed puppy, and a tired, hurting, splinted little kid along with the normal stressors of jobs and bills and all that boring adult crap that comes along with being a 'grown up.' Oh and have I mentioned that I'm not on speaking terms with one of my brothers? Yeah.

Can I be a 10 year old for Halloween? Things were so much simpler then.

Otto and Ruby before The Incident.

"Not Old for the Earth, Just Old for This Club"**

About to embark upon the notorious Birthday Weekend and feeling strangely upbeat considering my recent Horrible Birthday track record. My plans are to relax, party, read, maybe even write and/or work on some woefully neglected knitting. Oh, and spend time with my family, I suppose.

I've received some Birthday Dollars to spend as I see fit so I think that will mean new running shoes and perhaps some MP3 downloads of new music and maybe a book or two. Cheerio, all.



**Doorman!

Life is NOT like a box of chocolates. But I do like chocolate. Just for the record.

Firstly, we went camping with the in-laws last weekend and for some reason, it was not annoying or irritating...just nice. Relaxing, even. Wha? I know! Maybe I'm growing as a person!

We had a fabulous time, sleeping in a tent (it was Otto's first time), making s'mores, hiking, reading books in the sunshine next to a river. Awesome. And much needed time away from computers, TV, Internet, xbox...all that. It was delightful to just BE.

But of course, our return to civilization was inevitable and here we are again with our crazy days of daycare drop offs, long workdays, hastily prepared meals and harried work-outs. Oh and my car is in the shop for what is yet an unknown malady. The mechanic actually called me last night to say he has no earthy idea what is wrong so he 'might have to call Subaru' in the morning to figure it out. Awesome.

Secondly, I'm sure lots of parents, go through cycles where some weeks you feel like you are totally ROCKING this whole working parent thing and then other weeks, you feel like the absolute worst parent ALIVE and are completely secure in the knowledge that you are scarring your child for life?

Guess which kind of week I'm having. Yeah. Its been a tough one.

The kiddo's started hitting me when he doesn't get what he wants which I know is totally normal but OH MY GOD it pushes my buttons and it is SO HARD not to react. I am making a conscious effort to respect his feelings and understand where the frustration is coming from but there are times, oh boy howdy, such as in the grocery store when I am just trying to pay and get the fuck out of there and he is sitting in the cart hitting me and yelling "NO MAMA!" and it is SO HARD to maintain my composure. And all the understanding in the world doesn't change the fact that I have very limited time to do these sorts of errands and sometimes he just has to come with me even though that's not an almost-two-year-old's ideal way to spend a Monday night, you know?

And I don't want to be that mother who tenses up and talks in a low menacing voice with all sorts of threats but I also don't want to be the one going "Oh honey! Oh! Its OK! Mama is hurrying little bumblekins!" You know?

What do you guys do when your kids are being little shits in public? How do you get through it without doing something you'll regret or making a complete ass of yourself and your child? How do you respect your kid's emotions and integrity AND preserve your sanity? Inquiring minds want to know.

IT'S SHARK WEEK...

...and I have yet to watch any of it. My days have recently been stuffed with parties and YES I know there are worse problems to have but OMG when you have 3 days in a row of parties when you are used to maybe 1 every 6 months it is EXHAUSTING.

This morning I had the audacity to attempt a work out and my body was all "OH REALLY, BITCH? CRUNCHES? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I thought drinking beer and eating cake was the new workout...? NO? WELL FUCK YOU!!!" And I was all "OH NO YOU DIDN'T! DROP AND GIVE ME 20 YOU CAKE EATING WHORE!" True story.

Two of the party nights were totally awesome, a going away party I co-hosted and then my husband's birthday party the next day. Fun fun fun. A copious amount of alcohol was drunk and there was plenty of food and cake to go around. Good music prevailed and the summer night air felt awesome.

Sunday, however, was a COMPLETELY different story.

The husband's cousin got married and OMFG it was the WORST wedding I have EVER been to. Seriously. Horrible. The ceremony was at 4pm. It was over by 4:15pm. The reception was at 6pm in the same room in which they'd had the ceremony. Therefore, they expected everyone to "socialize" in the hotel lobby for AN HOUR AND 45 MINUTES with no refreshments or seating. The poor little grandmas were feeling it. Hell, I was feeling it.

When we finally got into the reception to sit the fuck down, we were treated to the most obnoxious DJ in the known universe and some fantastic nursing home food. Think mashed potatoes, over cooked meat, white rolls and iceberg lettuce. Oh and make-out sessions between the bride and groom every 3 minutes. While we were eating. Barf. Not at all feeling guilty for leaving early.

The sad part is that these people (or their parents- I think the bride and groom were 21 and 20, respectively) probably dropped an enormous wad of cash for what was easily the shittiest Sunday afternoon I've spent in a long time. I'm wishing them happiness and all that but good lord people. Have a little freaking dignity. Classy does NOT have to be expensive. I'm no wedding expert, but I do know that there are plenty of websites/magazines/books with lots of information on throwing a great shindig on a tight budget.

Could be that I am just a snob and maybe this was their perfect, ideal, dream wedding complete with the slutty garter toss and dollar dance and drunk bridesmaids writhing around and screaming along to "Baby Got Back." But please kill me if I ever have to sit through anything like that again.

I'd rather get eaten alive by a shark.***

Which reminds me...where's the remote?


*** Of course, I'm totally kidding about rather getting eaten by a shark. Shark attacks are very serious things and I in no way mean to take them lightly. Really. I'd rather shoot myself in the face with a nail gun.****

****Nail guns are also very serious. I am in no way taking victims of nail guns' lives lightly. I'd rather get run over by a very large semi-truck carrying a huge shipment of dildos. Really.

Snippets

1. Cheney. OMG puke. The more that comes out on him, the more the fact that that creep is from my state just makes me sick. He was bad in office and he's bad out. Gag.

Phew. Glad that's off my chest.

2. My mom came to visit last week. We had a lovely time excepting that 2 days into her trip, she tore a ligament in her ankle and spent the week on crutches and in pain. She still insisted on watching my kid, however, which saved us a buttload of money that we would have normally spent on daycare. She and Otto had such an amazing time together that I was glad she still felt up to it, despite her injury. Yesterday (the first day sans Nana), Otto woke up and immediately asked for her. It broke my heart a little to remind him that we had taken her to the airport so she could ride an airplane back to her home. His response was: "Mah find Nana airport. Mah go get her." Sob.

3. Back to Mom's visit, we had a great day, Saturday, shuffling around the Denver Zoo (mom was in a wheelchair) and the kiddo loved getting to see all the animals and whatnot- so much that he didn't nap until we got back in the car around 4pm. The coolest thing we saw was a baby giraffe nursing from his mom. Otto was so fascinated! And so was I, to be honest. Talk about breastfeeding in public :-)

4. I'm getting super, royally pissed off because all winter I look so forward to riding my bike to work in the summer. This summer, they are doing so much stupid construction around my workplace that I have to ride WAY out of my way and leave my house at the mother effin' buttcrack of dawn and WHY CAN'T IT JUST BE EASY FOR ME TO SAVE GAS AND GET IN SHAPE BY RIDING MY BIKE TO WORK?!?!?!? Stupid.

5. I guess that's it for now...We just keep on keepin' on...live one day at a time, enjoy the time we have together as family and the time we have alone to our thoughts because there are way to few hours in the day and OMG I'm fucking exhausted.

Peace.