My Favorite Things: Definitely NOT a Clustercuss

Readers of this blog may know that I have a little tiny, itsy bitsy crush on all things Wes Anderson. When I try to pinpoint exactly what it is about his films that attracts me so much its hard to zoom in on any one thing...I just love them. The tone, the stories, the visual aesthetic, the music...I love it all.

The characters are dry...but funny...but serious...but real...all at once.  The tiny details in each set fascinate me and I think that's one of the reasons I can watch his films over and over again- I'm always noticing something I've missed in past viewings;  the writing on a document in the background, a funny sign or a wardrobe piece that says something about a character.

We recently procured his latest, the stop-motion animated, Fantastic Mr. Fox, and none of us can really get enough of it.  As silly as this may sound, I love that an artist like Wes Anderson exists and I'm glad he made something appropriate for me to watch with my kid.  ("Are you cussin' with me?"  Haha!)  His movies inspire me to be creative, to read books I wouldn't normally read, and in some ways help validate the way I see the world.  I'm not saying I could be one of his characters, but I definitely identify with many of them.

Plus, have I mentioned how rockin' the soundtracks are?  Rolling Stones and The Kinks are some of his (and my) faves.

Love!

The Weird and the Wonderful

I feel like this weekend was all over the place, weather-wise and activity-wise.

It snowed all day Friday and we woke up to a shit-ton of white in our yard on Saturday. Lemons into lemonade kind of people that we are (heh), we piled snow into a huge mound in the front yard and then let Otto sled down it so many times I kind of wondered if he might get motion sick.

That afternoon, I had a baby shower to attend...and no offense to pregnant people or shower throwers, but I usually HATE those things with a burning, fiery passion. The little games, the forced conversations...blah. This one pleasantly surprised me, though. Instead of gifts, they had everyone pitch in for a new freezer for the family (this is their 2nd child) and then they had the shower in a church kitchen and had everyone help cook meals to fill the freezer up with. Genius, really! And it was so much easier to make small talk with strangers when we had a common goal and activity other than 'guess what candy bar is melted in the diaper'.

And then Sunday, low and behold, it was magically springtime. Warm and sunny, with snow hurriedly melting into gutters and potholes. Our sledding hill of the day before transformed into a weaksauce little bump in the yard.

After chores were done and kiddo and puppy were played with/walked, and the glorious sunshine had been soaked up, I found I needed some time to myself. So I went to see Alice in Wonderland. I am a huge Tim Burton fan and I wasn't disappointed: All the weird wonderfulness was there. There was one moment where the spell broke breifly for me, but other than that, it was 2 hours of lovely.


And finally, if you missed Zach Galifianakis hosting SNL this weekend, let me help you out:



Aaaaaand now its Monday again. Huzzah?

COME TO MAMA

I saw this picture on I am Bossy and had to repost. Because OMG THE YUM*.


In related news, I've seen two (count'em TWO) new movies in the past few weeks: Sherlock Holmes and Youth in Revolt.

Holmes is rated EXCELLENT for eye candy, action, and pithy dialog. Youth in Revolt is rated GOOD for french-movie-subtitle-feeling dialog, a fun indie soundtrack, Steve Bushemi and cutie Michael Cera.

Both are rated INDULGENT for the large quantities of popcorn and root beer that were consumed at each showing. Hey, I don't get to go out to movies much so when I do, I take full advantage.



*Of course, it should go without saying that RDjr can't hold a 19th century London CANDLE to my sweet, sexy, handsomely built husband. I'm just saying that he's pretty good, you know, for a Hollywood pretty boy. Ahem.

Just call me Ebert

I interrupt this non-blogging due to puppy mania to bring you my exclusive review of the movie Watchmen. I know its been out forever but we just got it from Netflix.

My review:

The action scenes = The Matrix
The characters = The X-men
The soundtrack = Forrest Gump

That said, its still kind of a fun movie.

Carry on.

Fantasmagorical

Last weekend so farking awesome, its taken me until today to process it effectively enough to write a blog post. That's how great it was. Strangely, there is no one big reason but rather a bunch of little ones that when compiled together, added up to two fantastic days.

Saturday, my kid got up at the butt crack of dawn (what else is new) and after hanging with his little ass from 5am until 8am, I was all "YOU KNOW WHAT?? I'm going out garage sale-ing. BY MYSELF." And so I did.

Garage sale-ing summary:

Purchased:

1. Huge bag of 2T clothes, including pajamas, jeans, jean jacket, shirts
2. Toddler sandals
3. Little People toy fire truck
4. Little people barn with huge Ziploc bag full of accompanying farm-y toys
5. Dresser for our bedroom (v.v. light yellow with pink knobs which I replaced with natural wood knobs purchased at hardware store)

Money Spent: $15.00

I AM A GOLDEN GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And this amazing feat of bargain shopping domination was just the beginning. That night, we took the kid to see Monsters v. Aliens at the cheap theater and OMG we had so much fun. Not because of the movie, really (Pixar totally kicks Dreamworks' ass- the jokes were SO lame..that said, I DID like the message that Susan was cool staying giant- that its OK for a woman to take up space in the world and that she didn't need a man to make her happy or give her a sense of purpose) but rather because we were there, together, as a family, eating popcorn, sipping root beer and having a grand ol' time just hanging out with each other. Otto watched the movie for about an hour while gorging himself on popcorn, nursed for a few minutes and then promptly fell asleep on my lap. Bliss.

Sunday, we spent time redecorating our bedroom (inspired by the "new" dresser - the husband remarked that it now seems as though actual adults sleep there as opposed to two wildly disorganized college freshmen. Heh.), grilling out the most delicious chicken and making root beer floats. (Can you tell we were on a root beer kick this weekend? For a family that almost NEVER buys soda, the occasional bubbly drink is sure a treat. And I love that you can get HCS free soda at the regular ol' Safeway these days.)

So you see what I mean? There was no one, fantastic, weekend-making event...It was just...good. Happy. Satisfying. Loving. Perfect.

(Do you think I used enough parentheses in this post? Because I could totally use more.)

Observations. In List Form. With Links. Don't Ever Say I Don't Deliver.

1. This weekend was so fracking beautiful, it was hard to go indoors for any reason. 60's, sunny, no wind...bliss.

Today, the shit is hitting the fan. And by shit, I mean snow. Boo. Its always like this in March but that doesn't make it suck any less.

2. I am a huge freaking dork and bought and watched the Twilight DVD this weekend. And enjoyed it. A lot. I am now suddenly wanting to move to the Pacific Northwest and become a reclusive author because OMG it looks so beautiful there.

3. I also took myself on a date to see I Love You, Man. Some thoughts:
* I totally heart Jason Segal.
* This movie had some of the most awkward moments I've ever sat through in a film. Some of the scenes were so uncomfortable, I had to look away from the screen.
* BUT- it was very funny. Not Knocked Up or Forgetting Sarah Marshall funny but it was definitely worth the bike ride and purchase of $2.50 milk duds. And really, getting to enjoy the recently mentioned milk duds in the dark theater by myself would have been worth sitting through a much crappier movie.

4. Hahahaha.

Stolen *WITH ANSWERS

I wasn't tagged- I stole this meme from Buffy. Because it looked like fun.

Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
Post them here for everyone to guess.
NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search or other search functions.

1. *You brought the fuckin' Pomeranian bowling?
*What do you mean brought it bowling, Dude? I didn't rent it shoes. I'm not buying it a fucking beer. He's not taking your fucking turn, Dude.

2. *Hi!
*Excuse me?
*I just said hi.
*Oh! Hi, hello.
*I'm Clementine... No jokes about my name.
*I don't know any jokes about your name.
*Huckleberry Hound.
*I don't know what that is.
*Huckleberry Hound!
*Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Clementine.
*I don't know what that means.
*Are you NUTS?
*It's been suggested.

3. Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and grabs me by the wiener.

4. All you got to do is use your instincts. How do you think a lion knows to tackle a gazelle? It's written, it's a code written in his DNA, says, "tackle the gazelle." And believe it or not, in every man there's a code written that says, "tackle drunk bitches."

5. Panda Watch. The mood is tense; I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I uh... Ching... King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can't do that he's a live bear, he will literally rip your face off. [to the Panda] Hey, you're making me look stupid. Get out of here, Panda Jerk.

6. *Have you met anyone recently who might loathe the very core of you?
*I just started auditing a woman who told me to get bent.
*Well, that sounds like a comedy. Try to develop that.

7. Why would a reviewer make the point of saying someone's *not* a genius? Do you especially think I'm *not* a genius? You didn't even have to think about it, did you?

8. I'm like cat here, a no-name slob. We belong to nobody, and nobody belongs to us. We don't even belong to each other.

9. *It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry his child?
* Sure, why not?
* He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him.

10. *What's this, uh, company called?
* HOLY SHI... *
*[Thinking fast] Shirts and Pants! Holy Shirts and Pants. It's a little corny and obvious, but what do you get out of being subtle, right?

11. When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fuck the lemons,' and bail.

12. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to tag along is more than welcome.

13. *I like your nurse's uniform, guy.
* These are O.R. scrubs.
* O, R they?

14. Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.

15. Francis: You don't love me!
Peter: Yes I do!
Jack: I love you too, but I'm gonna mace you in the face!



That was fun. Feel free guess away and also to participate. If you do, be sure to link to your post in the comments!!

*****ANSWERS ARE IN THE COMMENTS******WHEE!

Can't I just stay home and have a turkey sandwich?

[wistful sigh]

I went and saw the Twilight movie last night. By myself. Which sounds sad, but it wasn't. Really!

In fact...it was sort of awesome. And by sort of awesome, I mean FUCKING FANTASTICALLY RAD. Heh.

The reasons for this are:

1. I got to see a movie of a book that I totally got into and it was, surprise of all surprises, good. I loved it, in fact. Very true to the book, steamy, romantic, entertaining...It made me all nostalgic for teenage love. Remember when it was all encompassing, intense, passionate? When you were apart from that person you felt crazy and when you were with them it was like you were suffocating and they were the only source of oxygen? Sigh. Married, stable, old(er) people love is good too, don't get me wrong, but there's just something about those heady teenage romances that were loads of fun. And this movie brought those memories rushing back which was not entirely unpleasant, you know? I'm already looking forward to the next one.

2. I got to sit where ever I wanted and eat Milk Duds. Enough said.

3. I HAD TIME TO MYSELF. Alone. With my thoughts. I put my feet up on the seat in front of me, switched my phone to vibrate and really enjoyed myself. (Heh, not like that. Get your mind out of the gutter...although it was tempting once Edward Cullen made his appearance...)

I feel refreshed. Totally worth the $8.50.

* * * * * * * * * *

And now, suddenly, it is Thanksgiving. How did that happen? Anyone? I'm taking tomorrow afternoon off to make pies (my contribution to the gluttony) and then we are driving down into Colorado on Thursday to have dinner with the husband's family. It's always a little weird for me, having Thanksgiving there, even though its what we have been doing for the entire time we've been married (8 years and change).

You guys know what I mean: The turkey isn't quite cooked the way my mom used to do it. They have Italian stuffing instead of the southern cornbread dressing that I grew up with. They have sweet potato rolls with raisins in them (gross!)...again, not what I grew up with. I mean, its all totally fine but...you know...different.

And then, of course, there is the forced merriment, the smiling and talking to people which, c'mon, we all know I excel at THAT (uh huh)... That and the pretending to enjoy sitting around staring at each other for hours on end. At least they are not football fans, because truly, that would kill me to be stuck in a house all day listening to those awful commentators talking about the stupidest sport known to man. So it could be worse.

Anyway, I may not post again before the holiday so I'll say it now: Happy Thanksgiving...here's to hoping your travels go well for those of you traveling and for those of you staying put, let's just say I'm a little jealous. Cheers.

One Word Movie Reviews

The Dark Knight: Yay!!

Hellboy II: The Golden Army: Boo.

Movie Review: Teeth

The following is a post I started a while ago and just finished today:


Last night, we watched the movie Teeth.



Oh. My. Goodness. Loved this movie.



Teeth is a tremendously funny horror film regarding the myth of Vagina Dentata- or teeth in the vagina. The main character, Dawn, begins the film as an abstinence preaching goody-two-shoes and ends it as a sexually empowered woman with a "gift." The film effectively and entertainingly attacks the subjects of female sexual empowerment, adolescent sexual drive and society's perception of each.

In a fun, bloody sort of way, Teeth examines the insecurities and fears surrounding the perceived power of the female anatomy- the power to create and sustain life, the power of mystery, the power of seduction. Essentially, as Dawn discovers her true self, she systematically and violently weilds her new found power on unsuspecting, but arguably deserving male characters. Ouch. These men are infatuated with Dawn's wholesome ignorance of her own sexual pull and seek to take advantage of her in creepoff, sleezeball ways. In the beginning, the teeth injure aggressors seemingly on their own, but by the end of the film, Dawn has master control over her newfound skill and is purposefully dealing out justice to those she deems worthy.

While it is definitely gory in some parts, campy in others, Teeth is a pretty darn entertaining way to spend a couple hours, especially if you are at all into cheeseball horror. (Of course we know I am :-) Its funny, bloody, and a great commentary on the issues of sexual awareness and feminine power. But be prepared for bloody penis stumps. Fair warning.

Yeah...um...I watch alot of movies *EDITED

So this is the Entertainment Weekly's Top 100 Movies of something or other...The last 25 years maybe? Anyway. The ones I've seen are in bold. There are a lot.
I've also done you the courtesy of rating them. You're welcome.

1. Pulp Fiction (1994) GOOD
2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-03) GREAT
3. Titanic (1997) BLAH
4. Blue Velvet (1986)
5. Toy Story (1995) GOOD
6. Saving Private Ryan (1998 ) BORING
7. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
8. The Silence of the Lambs (1991) SCARY!
9. Die Hard (1988 ) FUNNY
10. Moulin Rouge (2001) YUCK
11. This Is Spinal Tap (1984) YAY!!
12. The Matrix (1999) GOOD
13. GoodFellas (1990)GOOD
14. Crumb (1995)
15. Edward Scissorhands (1990) GOOD
16. Boogie Nights (1997)
17. Jerry Maguire (1996) BLAH
18. Do the Right Thing (1989)
19. Casino Royale (2006) OK
20. The Lion King (1994) EH
21. Schindler’s List (1993) GOOD, IF DEPRESSING
22. Rushmore (1998 ) YAY!!!
23. Memento (2001) GOOD
4. A Room With a View (1986)
25. Shrek (2001) GOOD
26. Hoop Dreams (1994)
27. Aliens (1986) AWESOME
28. Wings of Desire (1988 )
29. The Bourne Supremacy (2004) GOOD
30. When Harry Met Sally… (1989) OK
31. Brokeback Mountain (2005) GOOD
32. Fight Club (1999) GOOD
33. The Breakfast Club (1985) WOOHOO
34. Fargo (1996)
35. The Incredibles (2004) INCREDIBLE! (GET IT???!?!?)
36. Spider-Man 2 (2004) OK
37. Pretty Woman (1990) EH
38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) A FAVORITE
39. The Sixth Sense (1999) EH
40. Speed (1994) STOOOOOPID
41. Dazed and Confused (1993) GOOD
42. Clueless (1995) SUPRISINGLY OK
43. Gladiator (2000) WASN'T INTO IT
44. The Player (1992)
45. Rain Man (1988 ) GOOD
46. Children of Men (2006) AWESOME
47. Men in Black (1997) GOOD
48. Scarface (1983) GOOD, IF BLOODY
49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) GOOD
50. The Piano (1993)
51. There Will Be Blood (2007)
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988 )53. The Truman Show (1998 )
54. Fatal Attraction (1987) YAY
55. Risky Business (1983) GOOD (EVEN IF I HATE TOM CRUISE)
56. The Lives of Others (2006)
57. There’s Something About Mary (1998) FUNNY
58. Ghostbusters (1984) A+++++++
59. L.A. Confidential (1997) GOOD
60. Scream (1996) OK
61. Beverly Hills Cop (1984) BLAH
62. sex, lies and videotape (1989)
63. Big (1988) GOOD
64. No Country For Old Men (2007) OK- NOT AS GOOD AS PROMISED
65. Dirty Dancing (1987) YAY! NO ONE PUTS BABY IN A CORNER
66. Natural Born Killers (1994)
67. Donnie Brasco (1997)
68. Witness (1985) HARRISON FORD = YUMMY
69. All About My Mother (1999)
70. Broadcast News (1987)
71. Unforgiven (1992) GREAT
72. Thelma & Louise (1991) OK
73. Office Space (1999) YAY!!! SHOWING YOU MY 'OH' FACE
74. Drugstore Cowboy (1989) OK
75. Out of Africa (1985) OK
76. The Departed (2006) AWESOME. AWESOMELY AWESOME
77. Sid and Nancy (1986)
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) YAY!!
79. Waiting for Guffman (1996) FUNNY
80. Michael Clayton (2007) OK, NOT FANTASTIC
81. Moonstruck (1987) YAY! ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVES
82. Lost in Translation (2003) GREAT- BILL MURRAY KICKS ASS
83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987) OK
84. Sideways (2004) GOOD
85. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005) YAY!!! TOTALLY RULES IT
86. Y Tu Mamá También (2002) GOOD, IF A LITTLE STRANGE
87. Swingers (1996) MONEY, BABY
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) THE ONLY FUNNY ONE
89. Breaking the Waves (1996) DEPRESSING
90. Napoleon Dynamite (2004) LOL- JUST LIKE WHERE I GREW UP
91. Back to the Future (1985) SHIT YES- A CLASSIC
92. Menace II Society (1993)
93. Ed Wood (1994) GOOD
94. Full Metal Jacket (1987) NOT A FAN
95. In the Mood for Love (2001)
96. Far From Heaven (2002)
97. Glory (1989)
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999) BORING
99. The Blair Witch Project (1999)
100. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999) FUNNY

*ETA: After I pilfered this, I did some research and discovered that it is the Entertainment Weekly's Top 100 "New Classics". Whatever that means.