Boy!
Had the 20week ultrasound yesterday and aside from finding out the sex, we also learned that everything looks great. So, YAY. The doc who did the ultrasound seemed to do a good job (taking his time with measurements, explaining what he was doing, etc) and he put it on DVD for us. To be honest, I had no idea what he was talking about for the most part (just looked like fuzzy blobs) but its cool to have a record of it. And I definately caught some feet and hands, the top of a head and the scrotum that he so gleefully pointed out to us.
The fact that it is a boy is cool for many reasons (not that a girl wouldn't have been): First, we already agree on a boy name. Girl names would have meant some fights, I just know it. Also, we have good friends who just had a boy last September and the Husband's Sis had one in December so I think we will have lots of boyish hand-me-downs. That should save us some bank. And, I have always sort of pictured us with a little boy. I'm not sure why, but there it is. This is going to be fun. (Hard, I know ;-), but fun).
Back to the name thing- I'm so excited that we agree on one that we both love this early. We have decided, however, not to share it. That way, 1) no one can nay-say it until the little bugger is actually here and 2) if we do, by chance, change our minds for any reason, no one will be the wiser. Still, its exciting to be thinking of this little alien in my tummy as a 'he' with a name.
Man, this seems so real all of a sudden...;-)
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Thursday, May 3, 2007
I Give Up.
*Warning: Fairly Negative Venting Ahead.*
So. We have been officially 'house-hunting' for our first home for about a year now. And I give up. Between a husband who is resisting, who somehow thinks that renting is better than owning (because, you know, owning a home is a commitment) and who can never make up his mind about anything and a depressingly bare market, I do not think we will ever find anything.
We have looked at so. many. houses. And all of them, with the exeption of maybe 2, are totally and completely wrong for us. And the 2 that might have worked? A certain someone hemmed and hawed until another buyer snapped them up.
I hate to be negative about this, but I feel like I've been positive for so long, that I am just tired. Tired of hoping that maybe the next one will be THE one. Tired of hoping that the Husband will be able to actually commit to something without taking a month to deliberate. Is it a tragedy if we rent forever? No. But it would definately be smarter financially to invest. And, well, there would just be a certain sense of security in owning our home. Especially, you know, with a kid on the way and whatnot.
Sigh.
*End of Vent. Thank you for your Patience.*
So. We have been officially 'house-hunting' for our first home for about a year now. And I give up. Between a husband who is resisting, who somehow thinks that renting is better than owning (because, you know, owning a home is a commitment) and who can never make up his mind about anything and a depressingly bare market, I do not think we will ever find anything.
We have looked at so. many. houses. And all of them, with the exeption of maybe 2, are totally and completely wrong for us. And the 2 that might have worked? A certain someone hemmed and hawed until another buyer snapped them up.
I hate to be negative about this, but I feel like I've been positive for so long, that I am just tired. Tired of hoping that maybe the next one will be THE one. Tired of hoping that the Husband will be able to actually commit to something without taking a month to deliberate. Is it a tragedy if we rent forever? No. But it would definately be smarter financially to invest. And, well, there would just be a certain sense of security in owning our home. Especially, you know, with a kid on the way and whatnot.
Sigh.
*End of Vent. Thank you for your Patience.*
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Memo
From: Birdie
To: The people that call me at work and are horribly rude but then expect me to bend over backwards to do what ever you want.
Don't.
Thanks.
To: The people that call me at work and are horribly rude but then expect me to bend over backwards to do what ever you want.
Don't.
Thanks.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Keepin' Her Off the Pole
I will be 20 weeks tomorrow. Eeep! Time flies and all that. The big ultrasound is a week from today. I'm excited and nervous all at once. And, it will be interesting if we get to find out the sex because really, I have no bloody idea. People keep asking me, as though I will have some fabulous maternal intuition as to what this kid is and I got nuthin'. I did have a dream last night that it was a girl but I have a suspicion that means pretty much bupkis. As far as which one I'm hoping for, I can think of good things about either sex really- and the thought of raising either one is quite intimidating: They both have different, but important issues.
For example, I do not agree with Chris Rock (as funny as it is) that your only duty is to keep girls off the pole. (Giggle). While that is important (snicker), there's puberty, which lets face it, sucks for everyone, but girls have a special gift that lasts until menopause. There's body image and our cultural obsession with being thin, blonde, etc. Then there's sexism- both in the workplace and beyond. I worry about being able to teach a girl to transcend this stuff and truly think for herself and pave her own way in the world- to not expect everything to end like a Disney movie- marriage/kids/whatever is not always the happy ending. I worry about teaching her to know in her heart that she is just as good as everyone else and it doesn't matter whether she is tall or short or blonde or redheaded or heavy or thin. What matters is how she sees herself. As someone who has struggled with this stuff in my life, I think I appreciate the challenge, especially when the media, peers, even family and friends are throwing contradictory stuff your way. Whew. I get tired just thinking about it.
On the other hand, boys have issues too. While women deal with the cultural pressure to be thin/not take up much space and deal with sexism, men face special challenges from the expectations of masculinity...as much as we have grown as a culture, there's still alot of pressure to be stoic, strong, reserved and generally "male." There's also the whole "violence" issue- I think all little kids deal with this, but it seems to be especially important for boys since they are encouraged in our culture to act out aggressively, whether is it playing with 'army men' or pretend weapons instead of dolls, playing football, or being 'ballsy' businessmen.
I know I'm probably overthinking all of this. And that I will just take it as it comes and do my best to raise good, self-confident kids. But this is what I do- I analyze crap until I feel like my brain might explode.
For example, I do not agree with Chris Rock (as funny as it is) that your only duty is to keep girls off the pole. (Giggle). While that is important (snicker), there's puberty, which lets face it, sucks for everyone, but girls have a special gift that lasts until menopause. There's body image and our cultural obsession with being thin, blonde, etc. Then there's sexism- both in the workplace and beyond. I worry about being able to teach a girl to transcend this stuff and truly think for herself and pave her own way in the world- to not expect everything to end like a Disney movie- marriage/kids/whatever is not always the happy ending. I worry about teaching her to know in her heart that she is just as good as everyone else and it doesn't matter whether she is tall or short or blonde or redheaded or heavy or thin. What matters is how she sees herself. As someone who has struggled with this stuff in my life, I think I appreciate the challenge, especially when the media, peers, even family and friends are throwing contradictory stuff your way. Whew. I get tired just thinking about it.
On the other hand, boys have issues too. While women deal with the cultural pressure to be thin/not take up much space and deal with sexism, men face special challenges from the expectations of masculinity...as much as we have grown as a culture, there's still alot of pressure to be stoic, strong, reserved and generally "male." There's also the whole "violence" issue- I think all little kids deal with this, but it seems to be especially important for boys since they are encouraged in our culture to act out aggressively, whether is it playing with 'army men' or pretend weapons instead of dolls, playing football, or being 'ballsy' businessmen.
I know I'm probably overthinking all of this. And that I will just take it as it comes and do my best to raise good, self-confident kids. But this is what I do- I analyze crap until I feel like my brain might explode.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Whadda Week
Friday already? How did that happen? While during the first trimester, time seemed to creep by at an alarmingly slow rate, suddenly it is litereally FLYING...I'm 19w3d...that is insane to me. With the tell-all ultrasound a little over a week away, I feel like I just need to STOP. and enjoy where I'm at right at this moment. Not knowing the sex... Not knowing if the little alien has 2 heads...well, you get the idea. AND its the weekend again. Huzzah!
My awe at the pending weekend and swift passage of time notwithstanding, on to other musings:
The old Husband and I have been making an effort to have one 'date night' a week. Most weeks, we have dinner somewhere and then wonder around the local megamart. I know. The romance of it all is almost painful. This week, however, we were a little short on dough and opted to stay in. It was so. much. fun. The H downloaded some episodes of this show (one of my faves) and we watched probably 7 or 8 of them in a row while eating a home cooked meal. I haven't laughed that much in ages. We had such a good time, in fact, that I feel no guilt missing his rock show tonight...Its in Denver, which means several hours in the car and getting home around 5am and I'm just not up to it. So I'll stay home and paint my toenails and play Guitar Hero. Or have a wild night with girlfriends. The possibilities are endless, really ;-).
My awe at the pending weekend and swift passage of time notwithstanding, on to other musings:
The old Husband and I have been making an effort to have one 'date night' a week. Most weeks, we have dinner somewhere and then wonder around the local megamart. I know. The romance of it all is almost painful. This week, however, we were a little short on dough and opted to stay in. It was so. much. fun. The H downloaded some episodes of this show (one of my faves) and we watched probably 7 or 8 of them in a row while eating a home cooked meal. I haven't laughed that much in ages. We had such a good time, in fact, that I feel no guilt missing his rock show tonight...Its in Denver, which means several hours in the car and getting home around 5am and I'm just not up to it. So I'll stay home and paint my toenails and play Guitar Hero. Or have a wild night with girlfriends. The possibilities are endless, really ;-).
Monday, April 23, 2007
Holy Crap!
So I began researching daycares today. And....Wow. I'm sure this comes as no suprise to the vetran parents out there, but They are Insanely Expensive. I could rent my kid their own house for the price of full-time daycare. Honestly. Not that I don't think quality daycare is worth it. But Damn. Makes me so wish that I could just stay home.
Unfortunately, this is impossible. We would not be able to pay our current bills on one income, nevermind the expenses of a child. We need both our paychecks. This is the sad truth. Also, and I know it is difficult to say for sure, as good as staying home sounds, I sort of suspect that it would drive me insane. I was a live-in nanny for 2 years and I know how the days go with nothing but baby talk and bad daytime TV. And everyone says that its different with your own kid, and this is probably true, but I just have the sneaking suspicion that I would love it for a while and then just feel trapped. And so, I am embarking upon this journey into daycare hell from which I may never return. Or it feels that way right now.
So far, there are 4 possibilities as far as daycare centers go- all have extensive waiting lists. Joy. We need to go tour and then get our names down if we think we would actually want our kids to go there. Also, I have an email out to the woman who wrangles all the in-home daycare providers. She has promised to research those that may have openings around when I am due. So maybe we'll get lucky.
But what happens if my maternity leave ends and we still HAVE NO ONE? These are the things that worry me. Even though we realistically have 5 more months of pregnancy to go, I am sort of kicking myself for not starting sooner.
Unfortunately, this is impossible. We would not be able to pay our current bills on one income, nevermind the expenses of a child. We need both our paychecks. This is the sad truth. Also, and I know it is difficult to say for sure, as good as staying home sounds, I sort of suspect that it would drive me insane. I was a live-in nanny for 2 years and I know how the days go with nothing but baby talk and bad daytime TV. And everyone says that its different with your own kid, and this is probably true, but I just have the sneaking suspicion that I would love it for a while and then just feel trapped. And so, I am embarking upon this journey into daycare hell from which I may never return. Or it feels that way right now.
So far, there are 4 possibilities as far as daycare centers go- all have extensive waiting lists. Joy. We need to go tour and then get our names down if we think we would actually want our kids to go there. Also, I have an email out to the woman who wrangles all the in-home daycare providers. She has promised to research those that may have openings around when I am due. So maybe we'll get lucky.
But what happens if my maternity leave ends and we still HAVE NO ONE? These are the things that worry me. Even though we realistically have 5 more months of pregnancy to go, I am sort of kicking myself for not starting sooner.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Yipee! It finally, kinda, sorta looks like it maybe just might be spring. Yay! The weather has been bothering me so much (not that I haven't been bitching about it constantly) but you know...its nice to see the sunshine. And some green grass for a change. I hope it sticks around- tomorrow is the annual Aids Benefit Walk and it would be nice not to be wearing a hat and gloves and snowboots and the like...
Work is also a pain in the rear lately, so I'm glad its Friday. TGIF Muthas! Tomorrow, as I mentioned, is the Aids Walk followed by the Drag Queen Bingo fundraiser that evening. I went to this last year and it was an absolute Hoot. Am so looking forward to being out with my friends for a good cause. Sunday will be relax/catch-up day and I'm sure I'll spend most of the day doing chores in my pajamas. My favorite way to spend a Sunday, don'tcha know.
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