I Haz Car

What are the odds? Remember when I posted this? About how my current car is not really doing it for me? And about how I daydream about Subaru Foresters or Ford Escape Hybrids fully knowing that I could never afford such a thing?

Well. Maybe wishful thinking works. Behold my new vehicle:

That's right. A Subaru Forester. And when I say "new", of course I mean "new to me." Its a 2001. (Recycle, mofos!) With All Wheel Drive. And perks the like of which I have only dared to dream- AIR CONDITIONING, CRUISE CONTROL, and the best part, unlike my current ride...IT IS NOT PURPLE.

The way that this came about it nothing short of miraculous having to do with my father taking a casual phone conversation in which I wistfully discussed my desire for new transportation and turning it into a purchased vehicle. He found us an awesome deal and we are using some tax return, financing a bit, and getting some $ from the folks. Needless to say, I'm tickled pink and ready to sell the little purple thing I've been driving for, um, 11 years.

Don't get me wrong. Those of you who know Bonanza Jellybean (my purple car), know that she has been a great car. She got me from home to college to home (many times), through my summer of crazy self discovery spent in the Tetons, through getting married and settling in a new state, through (finally) graduating from college, moving to Wyoming, and eventually carting around my firstborn. She's had a good run. But its time to place a want ad.

So this weekend, I will be cleaning her out, vacuuming her seats, polishing her faded paint and composing a missive for the classified ads. And my dad will be on his way with my new wheels.

And I couldn't be happier.

[insert happy new car dance here]

To Those About To Rock

via videosift.com

Stolen *WITH ANSWERS

I wasn't tagged- I stole this meme from Buffy. Because it looked like fun.

Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
Post them here for everyone to guess.
NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search or other search functions.

1. *You brought the fuckin' Pomeranian bowling?
*What do you mean brought it bowling, Dude? I didn't rent it shoes. I'm not buying it a fucking beer. He's not taking your fucking turn, Dude.

2. *Hi!
*Excuse me?
*I just said hi.
*Oh! Hi, hello.
*I'm Clementine... No jokes about my name.
*I don't know any jokes about your name.
*Huckleberry Hound.
*I don't know what that is.
*Huckleberry Hound!
*Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Clementine.
*I don't know what that means.
*Are you NUTS?
*It's been suggested.

3. Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and grabs me by the wiener.

4. All you got to do is use your instincts. How do you think a lion knows to tackle a gazelle? It's written, it's a code written in his DNA, says, "tackle the gazelle." And believe it or not, in every man there's a code written that says, "tackle drunk bitches."

5. Panda Watch. The mood is tense; I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I uh... Ching... King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can't do that he's a live bear, he will literally rip your face off. [to the Panda] Hey, you're making me look stupid. Get out of here, Panda Jerk.

6. *Have you met anyone recently who might loathe the very core of you?
*I just started auditing a woman who told me to get bent.
*Well, that sounds like a comedy. Try to develop that.

7. Why would a reviewer make the point of saying someone's *not* a genius? Do you especially think I'm *not* a genius? You didn't even have to think about it, did you?

8. I'm like cat here, a no-name slob. We belong to nobody, and nobody belongs to us. We don't even belong to each other.

9. *It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry his child?
* Sure, why not?
* He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him.

10. *What's this, uh, company called?
* HOLY SHI... *
*[Thinking fast] Shirts and Pants! Holy Shirts and Pants. It's a little corny and obvious, but what do you get out of being subtle, right?

11. When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fuck the lemons,' and bail.

12. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to tag along is more than welcome.

13. *I like your nurse's uniform, guy.
* These are O.R. scrubs.
* O, R they?

14. Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.

15. Francis: You don't love me!
Peter: Yes I do!
Jack: I love you too, but I'm gonna mace you in the face!



That was fun. Feel free guess away and also to participate. If you do, be sure to link to your post in the comments!!

*****ANSWERS ARE IN THE COMMENTS******WHEE!

The Best Medicine

Word of the Day

hyperborean \ˌhī-pər-ˈbȯr-ē-ən, -(ˌ)pər-bə-ˈrē-ən\
adjective 1 : of or relating to an extreme northern region: FROZEN
2 : of or relating to any of the arctic peoples


Translation: IT IS BLOODY COLD HERE TODAY. -4 degrees F, with the windchill we are at a balmy -20!!

And my car fucking sucks to drive on ice. I have a 1997 Ford Escort that was a gift from my parents when I went to college. Don't get me wrong...it has been a GREAT little car...dependable and trustworthy all these years even though it is a godawful color (WHO would paint a car that color I will never know...I think my folks got a good deal on it because it was so ugly) and has no cruise control or working A/C (which you don't really need in WYoming anyway).

But. Even though it has front wheel drive, it is a deathtrap on ice. It didn't use to bother me too much when it was just me in the car, but now that it's myself and Little O, I am suddenly paralyzed with fear when we are out ice-skating amongst enormous pick-up trucks full of rednecks who drive WAY TOO FAST in bad weather.

So today I am daydreaming about a new car...which of course I cannot and will not be able to afford anytime in the near future. I want something with good gas mileage and all wheel drive...

Like maybe a Subaru Forrester:


Or the Ford Escape Hybrid:


Oh the things we fantasize about as adults, eh?

Comin' up Roses

There's a lot a great weekend can do for you...restore your spirit, put a spring in your step, roses in your cheeks. And we had one of those at Chez BirdBrain. Relaxing, cozy, fun...We got lots of snow, dog sat for friends (and boy did the kiddo love having a big dog around the house again!), watched movies, cooked delicious food...It didn't even matter that we are totally broke until payday...and that's saying something.

And now its almost the end of January and HOLY SHIT how did that happen? Realistically this means only 2 months more of real winter. Yay!

I'm already thinking about spring and whether or not I want to attempt a small vegetable garden this year. It will be the first time so I have lots of work and research to do. Hell, I don't even know what will grow here. But I think it would be lots of fun both for me and for Otto if we can actually coax something edible out of the dry Wyoming dirt...

SUCKING THE LIFE RIGHT OUT OF ME

I'm so sleep deprived at this point that it feels like I'm walking around with a Pacific Northwest-worthy fog wrapped around my brain. My child is going through some kind of tortuous stage (again) where he is sleeping like shit (again). I keep telling myself "this too shall pass" a la all the parenting advice sites but experience tells me that yes, while this particular moment in time shall indeed pass, we have not, by a long shot had our last sleepless night.

For some reason, today that thought is making me want to say 'fuck this whole working mom thing,' pop open a can of Pabst and watch a What Not to Wear marathon. In my underwear.

But of course, I got up on 5 hrs of sleep, worked out, got myself and the little sleepless demon ready for the day, did the daycare drop-off, went to work myself, blah blah blah.

But you can't blame a girl for daydreaming about beer, a couch and TLC.