This summer, so far, has turned out to be all about self improvement and feeling good. Not on purpose, mind you, at least not in the sense that it was premeditated. But the husband and I have just shifted somehow, into a place where it genuinely feels good to be exercising daily and eating well.
I'm now able to jog 3 miles at a reasonable pace- I won't be winning a 5K anytime soon but I'm still pretty fuckin' stoked that I can do this. My body feels leaner and stronger. I have more stamina and the occasional sleepless night that still seems to be plaguing our lives feels less onerous. I don't know if I've lost weight (I simply have not checked) but my clothes are fitting better and I don't feel as jiggly, so...probably?
Our cooking has taken a largely vegetarian, vaguely middle eastern turn- lots of tabouli, felafel, hummus, grilled boneless skinless chicken breast (which yeah, I know, NOT vegetarian, but pretty different from the constant tacos, chili, and baby back ribs of last summer)...I love summer and the charcoal grilling. No soda this summer, with the exception of the ginger ale in the Moscow Mule because HELLO? Best summer drink EVER. Beer is still in the equation as well, because a life without it is simply not worth living. All things in moderation, holmes.
And so here we are, nearly to August, my birthday month. I gotta confess, I DO feel a little bit older and wiser this year. And that's a good thing. The wiser part, anyway.
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I'm kind of dreading my birthday. Not for the reasons you'd think- 32 doesn't really scare me any more than 31 did. It's just that it marks the 1 year anniversary of the day we lost McHann. It was such a horrible, sad, sad day, my birthday last year. It's going to be hard not to think of what we went through on the floor in that vet's office...holding her, speaking softly and watching the light leave her beautiful brown eyes. Afterwards, we went to a park on the edge of town, sat side by side and looked at the mountains thinking about and agonizing over what had just happened. Then we went to the Buckhorn for Jager shots.
Maybe if I flesh out all this stuff before my birthday it will not be as crappy? Worth a (Jager) shot, anyhow.