Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Eyes of Blue

We arrived at the Dr's office early the other day, so I nursed the boy for a bit in the backseat of my car and snapped these pictures with my phone. It was a bright, clear, cold day but the sunshine made the car nice and warm.

What a little sugar.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Four Months

Dear Otto,
You are four months old! You have gone from being a sweet, angelic little newborn to a loudmouthed, drooly, roly-poly baby who loves to snuggle and shove things in your pie-hole. Not that you aren't still sweet and angelic. You've just added to your skill base. At the doctor's office yesterday, you weighed 16 lbs and are almost 27" long. That's the 95 percentile for length. I think I'll start calling you "Stretch." Or "Chevy Chase." I haven't decided.

Among your favorite things to do at the moment are: the aforementioned shoving of things into your pie-hole, snuggling, sleeping in the crook of my arm, jumping in your 'jumperoo' (oh my GOD how you love the jumping), listening to conversation and music, and being worn:

You are, of course, still fairly enthusiastic about boobs. And the cat might be warming up to you. Or she's contemplating homicide. I suppose we'll never know.

You delight us every day with the new sounds, faces, and movements that you make. (And by movements, I am of course not at all referring to the horrible diarrhea you had last week, the diarrhea that necessitated a trip to the hospital lab with a stool sample. You're fine now- it was apparently just a virus. But CRAP. You were pissy.)
Anyway, in all seriousness, you are pretty much my favorite person ever.

I love you,

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

A Couple of Things.

1. The whole Heath Ledger thing is so so sad. He was so young, such a talent, and papa to an adorable little girl. Just sad is all.

2. The WBC can just fuck right off. They make me physically ill.

Friday, January 18, 2008

I SO Needed That

A good night's sleep, that is. I've been fighting this terrible cold all week (one that I am sure Otto brought home from daycare) but soldiering on to work every day like the true martyr I am. And last night, I was so tired, I was pretty sure that I was going to fall over dead onto the cold kitchen linoleum while washing my pump parts and bagging up milk. (Milk is my LIFE these days. Don't get me started.)

"Please," I begged Otto as he nursed right before bed, all snuggly and soft and good smelling after a bath, "please sleep for Mama tonight. Otherwise, you may become an orphan because I will die of tiredness and snotty nosed-ness."

And guess what!? He listened. Praises be! He went down at 8:00, woke up to nurse at 12:00 and then again at 4:00. But as I'm getting really good at waking up momentarily to latch him on and then going to sleep again right away, this means I was only awake for 6 minutes or so all night.

And today, I feel So. Much. Better.

Thank goodness. That was a close one. And now I just have to make it through today and then we have a 3-day weekend. Huzzah!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream...of a Family Bed

Long before Otto was even a twinkle in my eye, I thought I knew an awful lot about babies and kids and how I would do things when I was a parent. I was a live-in nanny and pre-school teacher during college and I was the queenie -bee of kiddos. Even during my pregnancy, I was sure that my philosophies on child-rearing were pretty stable. (I know, I know. I can hear you chuckling...Laugh it up.) Still, I "knew" that I was pro-breastfeeding, pro-gentle discipline, pro-attachment parenting and I still hold to those.

I also "knew," however, that co-sleeping just would not be for us. There was no way I could give up my space! The Husband would never stand for it! What about our sex life? Ridiculous!! If a kid gets in your bed he will never want to leave! I'm not sure why my stubborn ol' head was so set against this idea, but there it was. I was moronically sure that after the first few weeks of having Otto in our room, we would move him to a crib in his own room and that would be that. Case closed.

Fast forward to the present. Surprisingly (or perhaps not), Otto sleeps with us every night. He starts out in his co-sleeper and then when he wakes up to eat (usually around 2am) I gently pull him in bed with me and we both drift off again as he nurses. In the beginning, I told myself, "we're just doing this until he's not a newborn anymore." But with every passing night, I am sold more and more on the idea of sharing sleep with our son. Indefinitely.

And do you know what? I love it. I love not having to haul myself out of bed like a crazed zombie to fetch him from another room. I love that he never cries- just a few little "Mama, I'm hungry" grunts and vocalizations and he gets what he needs. I love waking up to his soft, milky breath on my skin and his chubby little hand gently clinging to my shirt. I love that I don't have to wonder "is the baby ok?" in the middle of the night- he is! And he's right there next to me, breathing in and out to prove it.

I also love that the more research I do on the subject, the more I am sold on its benefits both for Otto and for us. Especially since we both have to work during the day, sharing sleep is a wonderful way to reconnect and stay close. All snuggled up in bed. Together, as a family.

The worries of my pre-baby self have all but evaporated. Right now, I want my kid "in my space". Besides, there is plenty of room in our bed for the three of us. The Husband is just as taken with the experience as I am- I think he feels connected to his son and to me in a very intimate way because we all share our sleep. And as for the sex thing? (Well, this is somewhat theoretical at this point, if you know what I mean) There are plenty of other rooms in the house. And Otto takes his daytime naps (at least those not taken in the sling or mei tai) in his crib, which frees up the adult bed for an hour or so.

I'm a big girl and can totally admit when I am wrong (just don't tell The Husband). And I was wrong about co-sleeping. For us, for me, it totally rocks.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Prime of Lime*

Yay for our first daycare cold! Otto had it this weekend and was up every 30-45min. all night Saturday night which was a barrell of fuckin' monkeys, lemme tell ya. Now he seems to be feeling better, but I've got it. So I'm here at work sucking down juice, tea, and water and shoving zicam swabs up my nose every 4 hours. Glam-or-ous. With a capital G.

Fortunately, the boy has slept better the last couple of nights or else I think I would be completely bonkers by this point.

Speaking of sleep, I have a post all about co-sleeping that I'm working on. Will try to get that up in the next day or so.

*Kudos to you if you recognize this phrase from an old episode of Friends. Now that really dates me, doesn't it?

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Making History

I have to say that while I enjoy following politics, I find election years to be simultaneously exciting and monumentally depressing. Here we are, 9 days into the new year and everything is suddenly all about the presidential race. ALL THE TIME. Its sort of thrilling right now, but I wonder what tolerance I'll have come August and September...

I took this fun little quiz and my top matches were Kucinich, Dodd, Clinton, and Obama. Which I think I already knew. My strategy is to just pick the few issues that I am really really passionate about and go with the candidate that agrees with me the most. I know this may not be the best way of doing things but I feel like it saves my sanity- no candidate is ever going to be perfect. The perfect candidate, in my mind, wouldn't get involved in politics in the first place.

Realistically, I will probably be backing either Clinton or Obama in the fall, so I've been reading up on their stances on various issues. They both have things going for them and aspects to their experiences/histories/personalities that give me pause.

The cool thing about this, however, is that with either candidate, we will be making history. We will be able to say we were there when a black man or when a woman ran for president of the United States and actually had a chance. Pretty fuckin' cool.

Monday, January 7, 2008

My Favorite Things- A List**

A list of some of my favorite things right now (in no particular order):

Hangin' with my man and my cute as hell little boy.

Baby kisses.

Camping, hiking, snowshoeing...all that stuff. (Even though I don't really get to do this stuff much these days, I like daydreaming about it ;-)

Online shopping. (Especially here and here)

Knitting. (See note next to "Camping, hiking, snowshoeing..."above)

Breastfeeding in the middle of the night. (Ok, so I know this one is sort of weird, but there's something beautiful about nursing a sleepy baby in the quiet house...)

Good movies***/TV shows on DVD.

Comfort food on cold winter evenings.

Bust Magazine. .

Hot tea and toast on snowy weekend afternoons.

Pedicures. (Again, see note next to "Camping, hiking, snowshoeing..."above)

A cold beer. Mmmmm. Or hot chocolate with Bailey's in it. Double Mmmmm. ****

**Yes. I'm taking advice from Julie Frickin' Andrews. "When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad..." I'm here at work trying to make the time go by until I can go get Otto. How lame am I??
***If you liked Napoleon Dynamite, you will like Hot Rod. Trust me.

****Ok, so I know that I am nursing but my lactation consultants say the general rule is "if you can drive, you can breastfeed." I'm not even going that far- I have a one drink limit. But oh boy do I enjoy that one drink.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

3 Months

Dear Otto,
You turned 3 months old on Christmas Eve. Of course I'm just getting around to posting this because we had a crazy busy holiday full of trips to Grandma's house, car rides, lunches out, and quiet evenings at home in front of the tree. It was lots of fun. You got so many presents! Books and puzzles, sleds and pajamas, quilts and toys....Your grandparents sure spoil you!

This month, you are full of smiles. And the other night you had an actual, real laugh as I lifted you up in nothing but your diaper and zzzerberted your soft tummy. You are also more sensitive lately, noticing your surroundings more. Consequently, you're kind of a light sleeper these days which is a drag for your Mama and Dad! Also you're having trouble napping for anyone but Mama, much to the frustration of Dad and your new friends at daycare. But I know you'll get the hang of it.

Speaking of daycare, your first day was yesterday. It was so hard to leave you! I cried all the way to work. And when I came to pick you up at noon, you took one look at me and burst into tears. I'm so sorry, baby. But I am working so that we have a nice place to live, food to eat, and clothes to wear. But don't think for a moment that I'm not wishing I was with you each and every minute we are apart.

You really love going places - We have lots of fun going to the grocery store. You ride around in the sling and look at all the bright lights and shelves full of interesting things. You bat your big blue eyes at anyone who stops to talk to you, winning them over every time.

In addition to almost rolling over, you are starting to grab toys, clothes, hair, and pretty much anything within immediate reach. These things then make a bee-line for your mouth. Oh, and you drool. Alot.

All in all, you are such a bright light in our lives. We love all your vocalizations, your gurgles and coos and your smile melts our hearts every time.
I love you so much,