Wednesday, January 28, 2009


I wasn't tagged- I stole this meme from Buffy. Because it looked like fun.

Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
Post them here for everyone to guess.
NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search or other search functions.

1. *You brought the fuckin' Pomeranian bowling?
*What do you mean brought it bowling, Dude? I didn't rent it shoes. I'm not buying it a fucking beer. He's not taking your fucking turn, Dude.

2. *Hi!
*Excuse me?
*I just said hi.
*Oh! Hi, hello.
*I'm Clementine... No jokes about my name.
*I don't know any jokes about your name.
*Huckleberry Hound.
*I don't know what that is.
*Huckleberry Hound!
*Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Clementine.
*I don't know what that means.
*Are you NUTS?
*It's been suggested.

3. Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and grabs me by the wiener.

4. All you got to do is use your instincts. How do you think a lion knows to tackle a gazelle? It's written, it's a code written in his DNA, says, "tackle the gazelle." And believe it or not, in every man there's a code written that says, "tackle drunk bitches."

5. Panda Watch. The mood is tense; I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I uh... Ching... King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can't do that he's a live bear, he will literally rip your face off. [to the Panda] Hey, you're making me look stupid. Get out of here, Panda Jerk.

6. *Have you met anyone recently who might loathe the very core of you?
*I just started auditing a woman who told me to get bent.
*Well, that sounds like a comedy. Try to develop that.

7. Why would a reviewer make the point of saying someone's *not* a genius? Do you especially think I'm *not* a genius? You didn't even have to think about it, did you?

8. I'm like cat here, a no-name slob. We belong to nobody, and nobody belongs to us. We don't even belong to each other.

9. *It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry his child?
* Sure, why not?
* He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him.

10. *What's this, uh, company called?
* HOLY SHI... *
*[Thinking fast] Shirts and Pants! Holy Shirts and Pants. It's a little corny and obvious, but what do you get out of being subtle, right?

11. When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fuck the lemons,' and bail.

12. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to tag along is more than welcome.

13. *I like your nurse's uniform, guy.
* These are O.R. scrubs.
* O, R they?

14. Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.

15. Francis: You don't love me!
Peter: Yes I do!
Jack: I love you too, but I'm gonna mace you in the face!

That was fun. Feel free guess away and also to participate. If you do, be sure to link to your post in the comments!!


Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Best Medicine

Word of the Day

hyperborean \ˌhī-pər-ˈbȯr-ē-ən, -(ˌ)pər-bə-ˈrē-ən\
adjective 1 : of or relating to an extreme northern region: FROZEN
2 : of or relating to any of the arctic peoples

Translation: IT IS BLOODY COLD HERE TODAY. -4 degrees F, with the windchill we are at a balmy -20!!

And my car fucking sucks to drive on ice. I have a 1997 Ford Escort that was a gift from my parents when I went to college. Don't get me has been a GREAT little car...dependable and trustworthy all these years even though it is a godawful color (WHO would paint a car that color I will never know...I think my folks got a good deal on it because it was so ugly) and has no cruise control or working A/C (which you don't really need in WYoming anyway).

But. Even though it has front wheel drive, it is a deathtrap on ice. It didn't use to bother me too much when it was just me in the car, but now that it's myself and Little O, I am suddenly paralyzed with fear when we are out ice-skating amongst enormous pick-up trucks full of rednecks who drive WAY TOO FAST in bad weather.

So today I am daydreaming about a new car...which of course I cannot and will not be able to afford anytime in the near future. I want something with good gas mileage and all wheel drive...

Like maybe a Subaru Forrester:

Or the Ford Escape Hybrid:

Oh the things we fantasize about as adults, eh?

Monday, January 26, 2009

Comin' up Roses

There's a lot a great weekend can do for you...restore your spirit, put a spring in your step, roses in your cheeks. And we had one of those at Chez BirdBrain. Relaxing, cozy, fun...We got lots of snow, dog sat for friends (and boy did the kiddo love having a big dog around the house again!), watched movies, cooked delicious food...It didn't even matter that we are totally broke until payday...and that's saying something.

And now its almost the end of January and HOLY SHIT how did that happen? Realistically this means only 2 months more of real winter. Yay!

I'm already thinking about spring and whether or not I want to attempt a small vegetable garden this year. It will be the first time so I have lots of work and research to do. Hell, I don't even know what will grow here. But I think it would be lots of fun both for me and for Otto if we can actually coax something edible out of the dry Wyoming dirt...

Friday, January 23, 2009


I'm so sleep deprived at this point that it feels like I'm walking around with a Pacific Northwest-worthy fog wrapped around my brain. My child is going through some kind of tortuous stage (again) where he is sleeping like shit (again). I keep telling myself "this too shall pass" a la all the parenting advice sites but experience tells me that yes, while this particular moment in time shall indeed pass, we have not, by a long shot had our last sleepless night.

For some reason, today that thought is making me want to say 'fuck this whole working mom thing,' pop open a can of Pabst and watch a What Not to Wear marathon. In my underwear.

But of course, I got up on 5 hrs of sleep, worked out, got myself and the little sleepless demon ready for the day, did the daycare drop-off, went to work myself, blah blah blah.

But you can't blame a girl for daydreaming about beer, a couch and TLC.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Oh No You DIDN'T!

Oh yes we did.

Congratulations, Mr. President.

Congratulations, Everyone.

ETA: Did Aretha Franklin's performance remind anyone of this poem? Moving.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Perking Up

There is light at the end of the tunnel. It's faint, but visible. Little bro gets out of the hospital tomorrow (after nearly 3 weeks there). My little dude seems to be on the mend. Its the Friday before a 3 day weekend. My Husband has actually been sleeping. We had a wonderful visit with my mom and youngest brother. Our New President is sworn in on Tuesday.

The stars are realigning.

So, in the spirit of optimism, here, finally, are my goals for the new year. I don't say resolutions because, I dunno... that word is just so certain, so final. If you mess up you feel like a loser who might as well just quit right now and go work at burger king, stop washing your hair and have chili cheese fries for every meal. Goals are just that...goals. There's a little flex room built in. And if you simply make progress towards a goal, it still counts. Or at least that's what I tell myself.

1. Continue to improve my fitness- my goal here is to be able to competently run a 5K this summer. The treadmill I got for Xmas should help with this and when the warm(er) weather returns, the pavement and I will get reacquainted. I'll keep doing the 30 Day Shred like I have been and now that I no longer nurse Little O at lunch, that opens up that time to walking home for lunch on nice days.

2. Write more. Try to write every day. Even if its just "Today was." in my journal. I'd like to have another essay published in a zine* this year...who knows?

3. Learn new music on the piano. I'm currently looking for a new piano book to learn but I also want to teach myself some things by ear...possibly beginning with this song. I love it.

4. Get better at knitting socks.

5. Relax. Live. Laugh. Enjoy my kid. Love my husband. Chill with friends more often. Appreciate the small things and realize how incredibly fucking lucky I am to have such a kick ass family, steady employment, beautiful place to live and all that. Take time to smell the cookies. (Because, hello, cookies way better than roses IMHO).

*Oh, I didn't tell you guys about that? Yeah, I had an essay published in a very small zine. It was kinda cool. And gave me a taste for bigger and better things...

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


So things are perfectly craptacular at the mo'- little brother still in hospital (but on a slow road to recovery), shitty weather, my own mild case of something resembling seasonal affective disorder...all compounded by the fact that NO ONE IN OUR HOUSE IS SLEEPING. Not sure if its teething or the cold we have all been fighting, but Little O was up with fever and screaming and DID I MENTION THE SCREAMING for a long time last night. This on top of my husband's apparent (and oh so vexing) insomnia which turns him into a bear, and me, consequently into a shrew.

Oh. Just talked to daycare and I need to go get the little dude at lunch. Having a bad morning, fever is back. Now I feel bad for taking him at all. But he honestly seemed fine this morning. Poor little guy.

Anyway. Time for a list of my favorite things to help pull me out of the craptastic doldrums:

1. Decaf Green Tea. With honey, even. Yum.

2. Smartwool socks. Love them for me and for the little dude. Pricey but worth it.

3. The Southern Vampire Mysteries series. Yeah, that's right. I'm continuing my year of cheesy vampire lit. This is the one that HBO's True Blood is based on. And pretty gawl darned entertaining, y'all.

4. Our new Sunday dinner ritual. Frequenters of this blog will know that we are not religious folk. But the husband and I were both raised attending church and kind of miss the family-ness that such an activity provided. Oila! Sunday Dinner is born! Each Sunday we have been choosing a new recipe (from The Best Recipe, natch) and cooking it together. Even Little O helps by standing on a chair and beating measuring cups together. Its really quite adorable. So far, we've made pot roast, spaghetti and meatballs, and meatloaf. All delicious.

5. The returning light. I love it that there is now some light left when I get off work, trudge to my car and make my way home (with a slight detour to pick up the dude from daycare.) It will only get better from here.

Well that made me feel 'bout you?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

So, yeah. I am a sentimental fool.

I'm working on a post about my goals for the new year, but I'm having a hard time with it because so far this year TOTALLY SUCKS. Yeah, we're only a week into it but- it has been a SHITTY week.

So in the meantime, please enjoy this video. It made me tear up. No really, it did. I'd better not be pregnant again...**

**HAHA! Of course, I'm not. Thank you, Mirena.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

With a Bang

Hi! Miss me? Well dry your weeping eyes because I'm back. Yay!

And a little the worse for wear, I'm afraid. The holiday break started out nicely...time at the in-laws eating, opening presents, and generally making merry. Then it was back home, one lovely day with just the 3 of us, and then a stolen day for just the Husband and I...

But then. A phone call. My little brother had a skiing accident and was in the hospital in Denver. As the closest relatives, Little O and I hopped in the car and headed down to the big city to see what we could do.

There were insurance questions and surgery related decisions to be made and, get this, he didn't want our parents to know. Gah! I finally convinced him to tell them and my mom arrived a couple days later.

After major back surgery, he is going to recover but it will be a long, hard road and require a major life-style change, i.e., no more skiing off 30 ft. cliffs. Um...duh.

So yeah. That was my holiday break. Now, I'm on to thinking about New Year's goals and trying to get the hang of being back at work. How are you?