Wednesday, February 25, 2009

In a Handbasket

As you are probably aware, today is Ash Wednesday, marking the first day of Lent. As a recovering Catholic, Lent in particular is a strange time for me. I'm not sure why but the guilt, the infamous Catholic guilt always wants to poke out its slimy, blob like head and seductively whisper, " Are you SURE you want to eat meat on Fridays? Really? And are you SURE you're not giving anything up for Lent? REALLY???"

Its obvious to observe that this is most likely related to something in my childhood. My parents, especially my father, were extremely Catholic and Lent was Important- Capital "I." We attended Mass on Ash Wednesday, got our foreheads smeared with the requisite dirt (I mean really, ashes are pretty much just dirt), ate fish on Fridays (in fact, I think my parents straight up fasted on Fridays during Lent) and always sacrificed something we loved for the 40 day period. For us kids it was usually candy, soda, or a favorite TV know, something that would make you SUFFER. It IS supposed to be penance. And how better to show contrition than by giving up your beloved Saved by the Bell back to back episodes on Saturday mornings???

Anyway, this time of year, even though I have been free from the church for my entire adult life ( I left when I was 15), I get this nagging feeling in my I should be observing it somehow. And really- if I put aside my resentment towards most aspects of being raised Catholic, I can grudgingly acknowledge that taking time out each year to count your blessings and perhaps work on bad habits is not a negative thing. According to wikipedia (sacred in its own right...right???): "The three traditional practices to be taken up with renewed vigour during Lent are prayer (justice towards God), fasting (justice towards self), and almsgiving (justice towards neighbour). "

I get it, I really do. Its like a spiritual colon cleanse. Get rid of all the shit that is plugging up your life so you can focus on digesting the really important things- like being focused on the good things in your life and helping others. Check.

Trouble is, this is not how Lent was presented to me as a child. It was all about denying yourself because you were some how not deserving of things that gave you pleasure. If you liked candy bars or Cherry Coke or New Kids on the Block, you were supposed to feel guilty about it. And a way to please God was to give these things up for show him that you were willing to suffer for your wicked, wicked ways. Bullshit, I say.

I know that there is a lot more to it. Really, I do. This is just one (jaded) woman's experience and opinion. If I didn't have the experiences of my childhood to look back on, I would probably see Lent as the logical, detached part of my brain wants to see it: a beautiful, interesting ritual.

As it is, there is so much baggage attached that it just pisses me off and makes me want to go eat a dozen Snickers, drink a fifth of Jager and watch What Not to Wear for two days straight.


Monday, February 23, 2009


I have a 'thing' for birds and owls. So do lots of people. Not a big deal, right? But really, I am slowly nurturing an addiction. To Etsy.

Its bad, folks.

But what can you do when you search for "owl" and come up with things like this:

Seriously. Its a problem.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Pants on Fire


Otto: Mama! Poo-Poo!!

Mama: Oh Otto! Did you go poo-poo? Do you have poop in your pants??

Otto: (Long Pause- then shakes head vehemently) NO! HAHAHAHAHA!

Then he runs away as fast as his little sag ass can take him.

I love that kid.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Teenagers in Love

Lifted from Dooce, this meme seems oddly appropriate right now during all of this marriage-centric stuff I have going on. Wonder if I got the husband to do it how many answers would be different?

What are your middle names? Julia and Lorin. Both after grandparents.

How long have you been together? This one is hard. We have been married for 8 1/2 years, were together for a year before that, but we were high school sweethearts before any of this started.

How long did you know each other before you started dating? I met him 4 days after I turned 16 years old. And we started dating pretty much immediately.

Who asked whom out? He asked me to a pre-school year dance. At the fire hall. We might as well have grown up in Mayberry.

How old are each of you? We're only 1 year apart- I'm 31 and he's 32.

Whose siblings do you see the most? Definitely his. They are all either in Wyo. or Colorado. Mine are scattered all over the damn place. It is interesting, though, that our families are structured the same way: Two die-hard catholic parents, one daughter (the eldest in both cases) and 3 younger brothers.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple? Honestly? Right now, it is trying to function as working (outside the home) parents. Its kicking our respective arses. I know we will get through it, find equilibrium and possibly even our sex drives again but right now, daily life is sort of a challenge.

Did you go to the same school? We both went to the same high school for one year. Then he graduated and moved away and broke my teenage heart. Heh.

Are you from the same home town? Not really. Sort of. He grew up there, I moved there when I was 16 and moved away 2 years later. Really I was just there long enough for us to meet and for me to be introduced to recreational drug use.

Who is smarter? He is smarter about lots of things. He is very book smart, has a fantastic vocabulary and is very good with logic. I'm better with people. It evens out. Sort of.

Who is the most sensitive? I plead the fifth.

Where do you eat out most as a couple? Does our living room count? Hee hee. When we are able to get out, we rotate between 2 or 3 of the good restaurants here in town. There's a little vegetarian place we really like. We do not have a lot of choice. If we could go anywhere and eat, though, it would be sushi, no question. Its just that to get a good sushi meal around here you have to spend at least an hour in the car, one way.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? Missouri. Wow that's so sad. He's not really crazy about traveling and we are always broke...

Who has the craziest exes? Me, as far as I know. But I don't really know any of his exes...

Who has the worst temper? He does. Not to say I don't have one, but he gets very angry very quickly. Mine is more of a slow burn.

Who does the cooking? We share this pretty equally. He certainly enjoys cooking but so do i.

Who is the neat-freak? I wouldn't say that either of us is a 'neat freak' per say, but I'm usually the one who cleans house on the weekends. If I want help, I have to ask for it.

Who is more stubborn? I think its a tie.

Who hogs the bed? Probably me, completely unintentionally of course.

Who wakes up earlier? I do. On weekdays I'm up at 5:45 working out. And on weekends, I usually get up with the little monster.

Where was your first date? The afore mentioned dance. Gag.

Who is more jealous? Probably him.

How long did it take to get serious? We were pretty serious right the way that only teenage lovers can be. Everything was DRAMA and FOREVER and OMG WE ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER...then we broke up for like 2 years. But then we got back together again. Then we broke up for 2 years again. Then we got back together. Then we got married...Its like a mexican soap opera! Only with more punk rock and whiskey instead of tequila...

Who eats more? He does, although I gave him a run for his money during the whole preganancy/breastfeeding thing.

Who does the laundry? I do. I have a thing about someone else washing my underwear.

Who's better with the computer? Definitely him. I pretend to know what I'm doing but he actually does.

Who drives when you are together? Used to always be him, no question. Since we have the little guy though, it seems to be more me since the car seat is in my car. Honestly, he is probably the better driver although I have only ever been in one crash that was NOT my fault (knock on wood)

I'm curious to read others' answers to these questions...Feel free to post your own answers in the comments or link to your blog...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A Room of One's Own

Time. Its cliche, I know, to wax poetic about the lack of time, not enough hours in the day, blah blah blah. But really. This seems to be at the heart of issues, at least in my life, time and time again. I don't write about my marriage much here, mainly because I don't want to air dirty laundry, but things have been challenging lately. And it all boils down to : time.

Between two full-time jobs, a kid and all our other obligations, there is precious little time left for each other. And when we are finally alone, we're both so tired that tempers flare easily or we just don't have the energy to connect in the ways we need to. And while you dirty birdies might be thinking horizontal mambo, the real connection that is lacking is verbal.

We don't talk as much as we need to.

I think this week, things finally came to a head and we realized that something needs to change. Our epiphany is this: We don't get enough time to ourselves and this makes our time together feel strained. From work to home to dinner to bath time to chores etc leave precious few minutes to just be alone with your thoughts.

So, we are implementing some subtle schedule changes that will hopefully increase the alone time each of us receives, thereby making our together time a bit more pleasant.

Who knew this whole married with kids thing was going to be so much work?

Fuck it, lets go bowling.

(Isn't there just a Big Lebowski quote for EVERY situation??)

Monday, February 16, 2009


Fighting with your husband over IM really sucks.

That's all.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Fiddle Dee Dee

I'm channelling Scarlett O'Hara a bit today...You know, "I won't think about 'X,' I'll think about it tomorrow." Procrastination. It is an art.

I did sell my old car, which is fabulous. Buyers should be picking it up tonight. So that's done. But otherwise, I have hampers full of dirty laundry, end-of-week clutter littering most surfaces, and lots of errands I meant to run this week and just didn't get around to. But hey. Its the weekend and I'm sure I'll get around to most of that stuff at some point during the two days. Its not like we celebrate Valentine's Day or anything. Heh.

Oh and I'm not feeling particularly sexy due to a huge ass blister I have on my hand from touching a hot burner. Hawt. Literally.

So that's it. Its not much, but its my life.


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

10 Things. In no particular order.

1. New car is TOTALLY BOSS. I lurves it.

2. Am now getting my old car ready for resale. I need to vacuum it and get the stickers off the windows but I've already had 2 far so good.

3. The little dude is alternating between being the sweetest little kid ever and a complete hellion. From hell. Send reinforcements and/or whiskey.

4. Marriage is a little strained for some reason. Not much together time lately, if you KWIM.

5. Not sure what to do about that as this week is booked solid for both of us.

6. Recently joined my community's Freecycle network and while I have yet to donate or receive is just so cool! There's all kinds of stuff up for grabs. Kicking myself for not having joined up sooner, like when I was pregnant. I could have scored all kinds of free baby shit.

7. Speaking of baby shit, Little O's been all out of whack and I think its because we recently started giving him yogurt...he loves it but its not worth it for runny green poop. Sorry if that is TMI. Not sure what is up with that.

8. Apparently, I am into acronyms today. ROFLMAO. (Not really. I'm sitting here being quite serious...its just the longest one I know.)

9. We bought Zack and Miri Make a Porno . I saw it in the theater, but on the second viewing, I do believe it is one of, if not the best Kevin Smith movie. I really like it.

10. For some reason, after not smoking for several years, I'm craving coffee and a cigarette today. Don't worry, I'll get over it. There's just something about cold, overcast days that lend themselves to a good cuppa joe and a smoke. I think I'll have some green tea and sugarless gum instead. Ah, adulthood.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I Haz Car

What are the odds? Remember when I posted this? About how my current car is not really doing it for me? And about how I daydream about Subaru Foresters or Ford Escape Hybrids fully knowing that I could never afford such a thing?

Well. Maybe wishful thinking works. Behold my new vehicle:

That's right. A Subaru Forester. And when I say "new", of course I mean "new to me." Its a 2001. (Recycle, mofos!) With All Wheel Drive. And perks the like of which I have only dared to dream- AIR CONDITIONING, CRUISE CONTROL, and the best part, unlike my current ride...IT IS NOT PURPLE.
The way that this came about it nothing short of miraculous having to do with my father taking a casual phone conversation in which I wistfully discussed my desire for new transportation and turning it into a purchased vehicle. He found us an awesome deal and we are using some tax return, financing a bit, and getting some $ from the folks. Needless to say, I'm tickled pink and ready to sell the little purple thing I've been driving for, um, 11 years.
Don't get me wrong. Those of you who know Bonanza Jellybean (my purple car), know that she has been a great car. She got me from home to college to home (many times), through my summer of crazy self discovery spent in the Tetons, through getting married and settling in a new state, through (finally) graduating from college, moving to Wyoming, and eventually carting around my firstborn. She's had a good run. But its time to place a want ad.
So this weekend, I will be cleaning her out, vacuuming her seats, polishing her faded paint and composing a missive for the classified ads. And my dad will be on his way with my new wheels.
And I couldn't be happier.
[insert happy new car dance here]