Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A Room of One's Own

Time. Its cliche, I know, to wax poetic about the lack of time, not enough hours in the day, blah blah blah. But really. This seems to be at the heart of issues, at least in my life, time and time again. I don't write about my marriage much here, mainly because I don't want to air dirty laundry, but things have been challenging lately. And it all boils down to : time.

Between two full-time jobs, a kid and all our other obligations, there is precious little time left for each other. And when we are finally alone, we're both so tired that tempers flare easily or we just don't have the energy to connect in the ways we need to. And while you dirty birdies might be thinking horizontal mambo, the real connection that is lacking is verbal.

We don't talk as much as we need to.

I think this week, things finally came to a head and we realized that something needs to change. Our epiphany is this: We don't get enough time to ourselves and this makes our time together feel strained. From work to home to dinner to bath time to chores etc leave precious few minutes to just be alone with your thoughts.

So, we are implementing some subtle schedule changes that will hopefully increase the alone time each of us receives, thereby making our together time a bit more pleasant.

Who knew this whole married with kids thing was going to be so much work?

Fuck it, lets go bowling.

(Isn't there just a Big Lebowski quote for EVERY situation??)

1 comment:

buffy said...

Good Lord, married with kids is hard. I never imagined how really and truly difficult it would be. Jason and I have been through this several different times; sometimes even once we seem to have fixed it, the problems- exhaustion, preoccupation, just not enough time- come back up again. We've either fixed it or are just enjoying a period of time when we somehow manage to make nice time for each other temporarily. I'm sure you guys will be able to figure it out; it's just rough getting to that point.