Friday, August 21, 2009

"Not Old for the Earth, Just Old for This Club"**

About to embark upon the notorious Birthday Weekend and feeling strangely upbeat considering my recent Horrible Birthday track record. My plans are to relax, party, read, maybe even write and/or work on some woefully neglected knitting. Oh, and spend time with my family, I suppose.

I've received some Birthday Dollars to spend as I see fit so I think that will mean new running shoes and perhaps some MP3 downloads of new music and maybe a book or two. Cheerio, all.


Monday, August 17, 2009


So you probably remember that it was a year ago that we lost our family dog, McHann. She was the sweetest, kindest, most wonderful dog in the whole world. And we still miss her. But slowly, we've started feeling more and more ready to open our house and our hearts up to another doggy friend.

And so, dear friends, on Friday night we did something TOTALLY CRAZY INSANE and put a deposit down. ON A PUPPY!! Surely this was temporary insanity but I am SO EXCITED.

One of these little Golden doodles will be ours in the near future. They are only 2 weeks old now, so have some growing to do. We looked at shelter dogs and while I was fine getting a pup who needs a home, the husband maintained the position that he didn't want a dog who's past he didn't know because our kid is still so little. I get that. So we are getting a puppy from a breeder the next state down and OMG are we just peeing our pants with puppy-craziness all of a sudden.

Golden doodles are supposed to be awesome family dogs, low-to-no shedding and a good medium size. And they are SO CUTE!

Don't know if we'll get a male or female yet...there are 6 pups, 4 female and 2 male and we're 4th on the list to get to pick ours. We've got girl and boy names so we're prepared for whatever.

This feels right. It feels like its time and I'm so glad Little O is going to grow up having a dog around. Squee! Now we're just counting the days until the little barker comes home!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Of Cabbages and Kings

1. I've been re-reading Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. It is indeed wonderful. All the silliness and nonsense feels good to my brain right now.

2. Also reading this book. The movie was great but the book, so far, is creepily awesome. I love it.

3. It has dawned on me recently that I have the most amazing group of IRL girlfriends ever. I'm sort of weirding out about my upcoming birthday so they've decided to throw me a party. With sushi. So sweet.

4. We still don't know WTF is up with my car. Two mechanics have looked at it now and neither one can figure it out. Their advice? "Just keep driving it and see what happens." AWESOME.

5. My kid is getting big and mouthy. But he's still super cute and pretty much my very favorite person in the known universe. First s'more:

That's it for now, I guess. Just nosing the grindstone as they say.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Life is NOT like a box of chocolates. But I do like chocolate. Just for the record.

Firstly, we went camping with the in-laws last weekend and for some reason, it was not annoying or irritating...just nice. Relaxing, even. Wha? I know! Maybe I'm growing as a person!

We had a fabulous time, sleeping in a tent (it was Otto's first time), making s'mores, hiking, reading books in the sunshine next to a river. Awesome. And much needed time away from computers, TV, Internet, xbox...all that. It was delightful to just BE.

But of course, our return to civilization was inevitable and here we are again with our crazy days of daycare drop offs, long workdays, hastily prepared meals and harried work-outs. Oh and my car is in the shop for what is yet an unknown malady. The mechanic actually called me last night to say he has no earthy idea what is wrong so he 'might have to call Subaru' in the morning to figure it out. Awesome.

Secondly, I'm sure lots of parents, go through cycles where some weeks you feel like you are totally ROCKING this whole working parent thing and then other weeks, you feel like the absolute worst parent ALIVE and are completely secure in the knowledge that you are scarring your child for life?

Guess which kind of week I'm having. Yeah. Its been a tough one.

The kiddo's started hitting me when he doesn't get what he wants which I know is totally normal but OH MY GOD it pushes my buttons and it is SO HARD not to react. I am making a conscious effort to respect his feelings and understand where the frustration is coming from but there are times, oh boy howdy, such as in the grocery store when I am just trying to pay and get the fuck out of there and he is sitting in the cart hitting me and yelling "NO MAMA!" and it is SO HARD to maintain my composure. And all the understanding in the world doesn't change the fact that I have very limited time to do these sorts of errands and sometimes he just has to come with me even though that's not an almost-two-year-old's ideal way to spend a Monday night, you know?

And I don't want to be that mother who tenses up and talks in a low menacing voice with all sorts of threats but I also don't want to be the one going "Oh honey! Oh! Its OK! Mama is hurrying little bumblekins!" You know?

What do you guys do when your kids are being little shits in public? How do you get through it without doing something you'll regret or making a complete ass of yourself and your child? How do you respect your kid's emotions and integrity AND preserve your sanity? Inquiring minds want to know.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


...and I have yet to watch any of it. My days have recently been stuffed with parties and YES I know there are worse problems to have but OMG when you have 3 days in a row of parties when you are used to maybe 1 every 6 months it is EXHAUSTING.

This morning I had the audacity to attempt a work out and my body was all "OH REALLY, BITCH? CRUNCHES? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I thought drinking beer and eating cake was the new workout...? NO? WELL FUCK YOU!!!" And I was all "OH NO YOU DIDN'T! DROP AND GIVE ME 20 YOU CAKE EATING WHORE!" True story.

Two of the party nights were totally awesome, a going away party I co-hosted and then my husband's birthday party the next day. Fun fun fun. A copious amount of alcohol was drunk and there was plenty of food and cake to go around. Good music prevailed and the summer night air felt awesome.

Sunday, however, was a COMPLETELY different story.

The husband's cousin got married and OMFG it was the WORST wedding I have EVER been to. Seriously. Horrible. The ceremony was at 4pm. It was over by 4:15pm. The reception was at 6pm in the same room in which they'd had the ceremony. Therefore, they expected everyone to "socialize" in the hotel lobby for AN HOUR AND 45 MINUTES with no refreshments or seating. The poor little grandmas were feeling it. Hell, I was feeling it.

When we finally got into the reception to sit the fuck down, we were treated to the most obnoxious DJ in the known universe and some fantastic nursing home food. Think mashed potatoes, over cooked meat, white rolls and iceberg lettuce. Oh and make-out sessions between the bride and groom every 3 minutes. While we were eating. Barf. Not at all feeling guilty for leaving early.

The sad part is that these people (or their parents- I think the bride and groom were 21 and 20, respectively) probably dropped an enormous wad of cash for what was easily the shittiest Sunday afternoon I've spent in a long time. I'm wishing them happiness and all that but good lord people. Have a little freaking dignity. Classy does NOT have to be expensive. I'm no wedding expert, but I do know that there are plenty of websites/magazines/books with lots of information on throwing a great shindig on a tight budget.

Could be that I am just a snob and maybe this was their perfect, ideal, dream wedding complete with the slutty garter toss and dollar dance and drunk bridesmaids writhing around and screaming along to "Baby Got Back." But please kill me if I ever have to sit through anything like that again.

I'd rather get eaten alive by a shark

Which reminds me...where's the remote?

*** Of course, I'm totally kidding about rather getting eaten by a shark. Shark attacks are very serious things and I in no way mean to take them lightly. Really. I'd rather shoot myself in the face with a nail gun.****

****Nail guns are also very serious. I am in no way taking victims of nail guns' lives lightly. I'd rather get run over by a very large semi-truck carrying a huge shipment of dildos. Really.