Monday, April 30, 2007

Keepin' Her Off the Pole

I will be 20 weeks tomorrow. Eeep! Time flies and all that. The big ultrasound is a week from today. I'm excited and nervous all at once. And, it will be interesting if we get to find out the sex because really, I have no bloody idea. People keep asking me, as though I will have some fabulous maternal intuition as to what this kid is and I got nuthin'. I did have a dream last night that it was a girl but I have a suspicion that means pretty much bupkis. As far as which one I'm hoping for, I can think of good things about either sex really- and the thought of raising either one is quite intimidating: They both have different, but important issues.

For example, I do not agree with Chris Rock (as funny as it is) that your only duty is to keep girls off the pole. (Giggle). While that is important (snicker), there's puberty, which lets face it, sucks for everyone, but girls have a special gift that lasts until menopause. There's body image and our cultural obsession with being thin, blonde, etc. Then there's sexism- both in the workplace and beyond. I worry about being able to teach a girl to transcend this stuff and truly think for herself and pave her own way in the world- to not expect everything to end like a Disney movie- marriage/kids/whatever is not always the happy ending. I worry about teaching her to know in her heart that she is just as good as everyone else and it doesn't matter whether she is tall or short or blonde or redheaded or heavy or thin. What matters is how she sees herself. As someone who has struggled with this stuff in my life, I think I appreciate the challenge, especially when the media, peers, even family and friends are throwing contradictory stuff your way. Whew. I get tired just thinking about it.

On the other hand, boys have issues too. While women deal with the cultural pressure to be thin/not take up much space and deal with sexism, men face special challenges from the expectations of masculinity...as much as we have grown as a culture, there's still alot of pressure to be stoic, strong, reserved and generally "male." There's also the whole "violence" issue- I think all little kids deal with this, but it seems to be especially important for boys since they are encouraged in our culture to act out aggressively, whether is it playing with 'army men' or pretend weapons instead of dolls, playing football, or being 'ballsy' businessmen.

I know I'm probably overthinking all of this. And that I will just take it as it comes and do my best to raise good, self-confident kids. But this is what I do- I analyze crap until I feel like my brain might explode.

1 comment:

Megan said...

Nope, you aren't overthinking this. Welcome to parenting! It's lots of worries, lots of "am I doing this right? What can I do better?" and lots and LOTS of thinking. For me anyway.

I can't wait to hear how the u/s goes!