Clusterfuck

While I have always considered myself to be in possession of at least a modicum of intelligence, I think my brain might be broken. That is the only way I can think to describe the width and breadth of my stupidity this weekend: broken brain. In point of fact, I may be flattering myself with the title of this blog.

Exhibit A: We are camping. It is evening and the campground is a pristinely silent homage to families, campfires, and s'more making. Birds chirp and chipmunks frolic in the dappled sunlight alternating with shade from pines and aspens. In the distance a child laughs. Someone begins quietly playing kum-ba-ya on a battered acoustic guitar. You get the picture.

The Husband and his dad are up in the mountains fishing somewhere. We have just returned from a looooong hike (which was beautiful, btw) and I think "Oh! I will go out to the car, get Otto's jammies and whatnot and get him ready for bed. When I reach the car, windows are open but the car is locked. So what do I do? I reach in and unlock the door.

Of course, we all know what happens next. BAMP..BAMP..BAMP..BAMP..car alarm. Shattering the peace and quiet, no doubt traumatizing all the perfect families with their perfect s'mores and kum-ba-yas.

"Shit! Fuck! Shit shit fuck!" That's me, gracefully handling the situation. I do manage to locate my key and turn the damn thing off but not until what feels like an ETERNITY has gone by and people are no doubt cursing me and the fruit of my loins for all time. S.M.A.R.T.

Exhibit B: Sunday, as we pull into town, exhausted and windburned, freshly mosquito bitten, the Husband hurries to get to his baseball game and I think Hey! You know, I REALLY don't feel like cooking- think I'll drive through for something deliciously greasy and naughty. First, I need cash so VOILA! pop by the ATM, pick up the moola, french fries here I come!!

This was all executed flawlessly but for the teeny tiny problem of me LEAVING MY CARD IN THE ATM. Yeah. So then yesterday, when I 'ran' by the grocery store to 'quickly' grab some foodstuffs and various sundries, OOPS! No card! Had to call the bank with the ATM who fortunately had not immediately shredded my card (thank goodness for small blessings), run pick that up then go back to the grocery store for our food. All with baby in tow.

Is this just a horrible case of Momnesia? Whatever it is, I think I'll go read up on brain power supplements now.