Struggling

Do you ever want to take a vacation? I mean, really and truly just vacate your life completely? Run away? That's how I feel today. So tired. So over it.

The reason for this is that I am struggling and I'm not really sure why. I feel like I'm slowly drowning...being systematically suffocated by responsibilities, obligations, duties - some that do and some that don't have my heart behind them. Otto is going through a really challenging time right now- very needy, kinda crabby, hard to deal with. Some of this is teething but most is just the stage he is at developmentally, I think. The daily pumping of breastmilk, noontime nursing runs, very early morning nursing sessions (I'm talking 4am, people), daycare drop offs, pick ups are leeching away my sanity. The husband and I are not connecting. At all. Our relationship does not feel healthy right now. Work is very demanding. It feels like there are not enough hours in the day for me to even collect my thoughts.

Something has to give, but I don't know what. I know I have a lot of blessings but its difficult to truly enjoy them right now.