Tuesday, May 5, 2009

When It Rains, It Pukes

Good fucking grief.

The weekend started out awesome: Saturday was rainy and we had fun cleaning the house and doing some painting with the kid. (He always starts out wanting to use a brush but 'finger painting' inevitably ensues...its a blast). Saturday night, important works of art set to dry on every conceivable surface in our kitchen, I went out for a drink with friends. Sunday I had La Leche League business to attend to which was a good excuse to girl-talk-it for 2 hours.

Sunday night is when it all turned to hell. It started innocently enough: The husband made homemade Alfredo sauce and served it over some fresh pasta purchased from the grocery store. We also had some bagged salad that was on a good sale.

At precisely 11:16 pm, I woke up with THE WORST sickness I have ever had. EVER. There was diarrhea. There was puking. There was BOTH AT THE SAME TIME FOR 5 STRAIGHT HOURS. The husband was in the same boat. After 9 years of marriage, you wonder how to reconnect? Just get violent food poisoning at the same time. A cheap, easy bonding exercise. You're welcome.

Our only saving grace was that while World War III was being waged in our innards, the kid was sound asleep, dreaming peacefully in his crib all night. Thank jeebus he didn't touch any of his dinner. I finally passed out on the couch around 4 am. I think the poor husband was up all night.

So yesterday, we both called in sick and spent the day daintily sipping ginger ale, nibbling saltines and watching movies while Otto played his little, non-food-poisoned heart out at daycare.

Thank the Powers That Be for daycare.

And now, on the other side of this horrific episode, a few observations: I feel suprisingly clean...last night I washed all our bedding (no one puked on it or anything but you know...I just wanted it clean), took the longest, hottest shower of my life and slept like I was dead for 10 hours. This morning, my pants fit a little looser and my head is strangely clear.

So food poisoning? Marital bonding technique AND effective detox. And you can take that free advice all the way to the toilet.

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