Oh, What a Beautiful Morning!

If you actually believed that it was the "first day of spring" last week, I am here to inform you that you have erred in gross proportions. Clearly, this was a gruesomely cruel joke played upon us by calendar makers and/or daylight savings time moguls.

What you see here is exactly what I saw on my walk to work this morning as I hummed Rogers and Hammerstein and laughed at the stupid sorority girls walking to class in capri pants and flip flops.

Oh, what a beautiful Day!!

Holy Blizzard, Batman!

And boy howdy. It is, as they say, really coming down. As in you can't see traffic lights until you get right up under them and you can only see the car in front of you by their tail lights. Snow Snow Snow. The upside is that it will make everything greener once it melts, but the down side is that everyone's slipping and sliding around out there and, well, it's just depressing. Its supposed to be spring, after all.

The top picture is right outside our house and the bottom one is a webcam of the highway leading out of town.

Brrrrrr.

The Mean Reds

I have today, as Holly Golightly would say, the "Mean Reds."

1. I slept for CRAP last night- tossing and turning and waking every hour on the hour and OHMYGODIAMSOTIRED.
2. The weather here today is freakin' nasty: Cold, bitter wind that goes right through whatever you happen to be wearing and dark, overbearing clouds in every direction.
3. Well, you know... I'm pregnant and probably having hormonal grumpiness as well.

Also, I've been having such feelings of ambivalence about this pregnancy lately. Everything I read says this is normal and I'm sure it is...especially since this pregnancy was unplanned and took us both completely by suprise. But still, these feelings of fear and doubt are in turn, making me feel guilty that I'm not just all excited and twitterpated and whatnot. And, I've been having "what if my baby's not ok" thoughts since my next Dr's appt is approaching (next Wed.). Sigh.

Last night, I tried to self medicate with some "me" time: I had a yummy dinner with the Hub and then, after he went to rock n' roll band practice, I watched this movie and painted my nails. (Black. Think I'm rebelling against this mommy thing just a bit? Heh.) This might have helped a little, had I gotten a good night's sleep last night. Oh well.

Sorry to be a Mopey Mabel for this post. Would you like some cheese with this whine?

Boring Weekend...

...And boy, was it. The weekend wasn't bad, persay, just very very dull. There was a party on Saturday night that ALL our friends were at (including the husband) except for yours truly because they smoke inside the house. Blah. Add that to me feeling ignored by the husband all weekend and there you have it. I feel like there is something going on with him but trying to get him to talk to me was like pulling teeth so eventually I just gave up.

On the brighter side, I did get to relax alot. I decided to take the weekend off from cleaning, as the in-laws are coming next weekend and we'll have to turn everything inside out to clean for their visit then. So why waste energy now? Seems logical to me.

Had a couple of long phone conversations with distant friends and made the Carribean Dream Pie from the Moosewood Cookbook (my favorite cookbook!) Also got a chance to watch this film, which was a pretty eye opening look at the film industry and specifically the MPAA ratings system. All a bit disturbing really, and remarkably like censorship. What struck me the most was that the members of the ratings committee are kept completely secret...supposedly so none of them can be "pressured" but also, none of them can be held accountable for their decisions. Strange.

So like I said, not a bad weekend, just...you know, boring.

Random Worries Wednesday

Happy Hump Day. (I kind of love and hate calling Wednesday that...its the Junior High kid in me that loves it, I guess. You said 'hump' ha ha.) This week is going slooooooooowly- why is it not weekend yet?

Went to knitting group last night. Still plugging away on my first (and probably last) pair of socks. Don't know why I'm resisting working on them so much, but I'm just not into it. Would rather work on my baby blanket made from lovely 100% soft cotton in delicious fall colors. (Am really feeling fall colors with this baby. Sept. due date, I suppose.) Oh well, I guess I will get the socks finished eventually. They will be really nice when they are done... that and my fellow knitters won't let me abandon them. Its a right of passage, it seems and they MUST BE COMPLETED!!

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On another note, the Hub brought up an interesting point the other night that has me a bit worried. (As if I needed something else to worry about when I've already got early pregnancy, money, and my little brother being deployed to Iraq, among other things...but I digress). The issue is this: how will our cat will react to having a baby in the house?

We are not really worried about the dog- she is a total saint and the only reaction I really see her having is being a bit down at first that we are so preoccupied. We'll just have to make an effort to give her attention too! The cat, however, is another issue entirely. You see, she is (for lack of a better description) pure, unadulterated Evil. I mean, she is MEAN, man. As in, no one is allowed to pet her but us. Ever. As in, the last time I took her to the vet, she gave me a black eye. A black eye, people! Sure, she has her sweet moments (loves to cuddle on the bed on weekend mornings, etc.) but for the most part, she is Satan's little helper and the thought of her in the same room as a baby, or god-forbid a toddler, fills me with dread.

At the same time, I will NOT get rid of her because I view having a pet as a serious responsibility (like having a kid, really), nor will I de-claw her because she is already 7 years old and that can seriously fuck with an adult cat's psychological health. (As in, they can start peeing and pooping everywhere but the litter box, which in my mind is the last thing you need with a newborn in the house.)

The best I can come up with right now is that we will just have to 'wait and see' how she reacts and go from there. But I plan on doing some research to see if there's anything I can do before the baby gets here. Wonder if a google search for "satanic cats + babies" will bear any fruit...

Enter Cybil, Stage Left

Yeah, so no one really warned me about how crazy pregnancy hormones can make you. I guess I'd heard people compare it to PMS or whatever but that really has not prepared me. Seriously, people should WARN you about this shit. It seems like one second I'm normal and feeling like "me" and then the next I am completely out of control- a mad raving lunatic.

My poor Hub- on Saturday he got to witness the full transformation and it wasn't pretty. One moment I'm whistling in the shower, loving life and my day off, and the next, I was sobbing uncontrollably because I had convinced myself that he never wants to hang out with me anymore now that I am 'no fun' (can't drink, can't stay up past 8pm, etc..) Gah. Being the sweetheart that he is, he immediately dropped what he was working on, took me to the park and then out to lunch. Of course, I was on the verge of tears the entire time (because, at that point, I had gone from feeling angry and hurt over a perceived injustice to feeling bad about being such a baby).

"Are you just going to cry all day?" he finally asked.

"Maybe," came my cryptic answer.

You know, gotta keep'em guessing.



Edited to add: On a sort-of related note, can someone please tell me when this simultaneous nausea and being completely STARVING will end? Because seriously. It's gettin' old. (I will be 14w tomorrow...)

"The bitch is back."

Good news! The sciatic nerve pain is gone. Or it appears to be (let's keep our fingers crossed, shall we?) And since my work week was only 4 days long due to that sick day I took, it was almost bearable. And my 'morning' sickness seems to be quickly disappearing. In short, I'm just about back to my old self, which means that I am happily bitchy.

Case in point, the people on my floor at work decided to have an 'irish potluck' in honor of St. Patrick's day. In general, I'm not super social to begin with and I hate socializing with people at work. The women in my immediate office I can handle (they are pretty cool and I know them well enough to trust any food that they would bring in) but the people in other offices on the floor are too much. There's the smelly guy we all refer to as "the knome," and the gaggle of gossiping grannies and some others that are nice enough but just a little vacant. Of course there are some 'normals' but they are generally smart enough to avoid the potlucks too :-).

Plus, ever since they found out that I am pregnant, they have all been harpooning me with unsolicited assvice which frankly, makes me want to rip off their heads and stomp on them. So, needless to say, I skipped the potluck. Because of this, all afternoon, I've had to endure "where were you"'s and "did you get something to eat"'s and "you're eating for two now!", and I want so badly just to mess with them ("well, i don't trust your cooking," or "actually, my baby already hates you"...you know, that kind of thing) but I've held my tongue and stuck to my story of wanting to have lunch with my husband. Which, you know, is sort of true.

I know, I know. I could have alot worse problems than co-workers that like to get together and socialize. And give well-meant assvice. And I am mean and rude and ungrateful and blah blah blah. At least I have a sexy ass. And that should count for something.

Odds and Ends. Mostly Odds.

So I'm in this knitting group that meets once a week. There are 3 of us "core" members and others sort of come and go as the mood strikes. As it is spring break for the university here, tonight's meeting was sparse: just myself and one other person. So, of course we promptly get into a pseudo-intellectual argument about the difference between a genre and a setting and whether space westerns really exist as their own genre. This is my life. D.O.R.K.

Anyway, the weather here has been great the past couple of days which is really too bad because instead of being able to enjoy it, I have been laid up with excrutiating sciatic nerve pain. WTF? Called the Dr's and was informed that this is common in pregnancy and all I can do is take tylenol, lay on the opposite side and alternate heat and cold. This pisses me off to no end: 1. I love to work out. On days I skip working out, I feel shitty. Of course, I've not really been able to work out. But have snuck in a little yoga here and there. 2. I ride a bike or walk to work if the roads are bad. Both are now ridiculously painful and I feel like an old granny tottering down the street. 3. It meant having to use 8 precious hours of sick time to lay on my side and read Harry Potter all day. (Ok, so maybe that last one isn't that bad.) It does, however, feel better after 24 hours of staying off of it so maybe it was just a fluke and will now be forever gone. Keep your fingers crossed.

Lastly, how much did the daylight savings time change suck? I mean really. This one always sucks (I hate losing an hour) but 3 weeks early? Come ON. Gah.

Cheerful, ain't I? ;-)

Relieved

Well, my first appointment was nothing to be so nervous about. It went great, considering. We saw the baby move on ultrasound and heard a heartbeat. It was pretty cool. The only weird thing is that I'm Rh negative but they seem to have that well in hand these days.

I'm feeling much better about things in general. Also, I'm further along than we thought I was which explains why my 'morning sickness' has gotten considerably better in the last week. I'm actually at 12 weeks today. 2nd trimester here I come!

We also began officially telling people. Most people seem to be excited for us. There are some family that are a little too excited, however. I feel scrutinized all the sudden. And like I'm their prize heifer that is finally doing what I was bought to do. I know that's a horrible way to look at it but there you go. My twisted mind.

Co-workers...can't live with 'em and don't want to

So I'm in the kitchen-esque break-room thing yesterday morning, innocently stashing away my V8 and N0-sugar-added applesauce and I notice a co-worker (works in the office down the hall) standing behind me, waiting for her turn with the fridge.

Me: "Good morning." (While not overly friendly, I usually at least make an effort to be polite.)

Co-worker: "Well, no one wants to thump you on the head."

Me: (Puzzled look. Slowly backing away.)

Not sure what that means, but I hope it wasn't a threat. She's quite a bit bigger than me and a "thump" would probably hurt. Alot.

More probably, she is just quite insane. Yeah, I'm sticking to that explanation.